Frozen In Time
by meandmybloodycoffin
Summary: Escaping from the Malfoy grip.
1. Best Friends

Chapter 1 – Best Friends

I only discovered when I continued to feel terrible in the morning. I was pregnant.

My name is Helena Gessele and I was just finishing my last year at Hogwarts. You wonder how I got pregnant and with whom? I dated this guy and I guess maybe we sometimes had sex without a condom. I know, I know, it's stupid! It's just that we both forgot about it when we craved for each other. That was till I found someone else in his bed and broke up with him. He broke my heart.

Back to main bussiness... I'm pregnant, I'm still a student, fortunately not for more than the two weeks before summervacation. I can't go back home, my parents would get outraged and probably kill him. I could maybe go to Trisha's home, she already has her own home, an appartment just outside London. She's my best friend, so I should tell her about this. I saw her laying on her bed reading a magazine as I entered the room after dinner. I sat down next to her and she looked up to me, noticing my worried face.

'Uhm, Trish? I've got something to tell you.' Don't worry, already washed my face and brushed my teeth, she won't notice a thing.

I hope.

-Flashback-

_December 1__st__ Fifth grade_

_Helena gently pushed her long blonde hair behind her ear to look at the instructions she had just copied from the blackboard. She just couldn't get another bad grade in Potions, it was one of her best subjects. The other day she had just sat there, looking dreamy at this guy. Fumbling with her Gryffindor tie, she had stepped up to him, feeling all nervous and shy. Seamus Finnigan had been her crush for a while now and he seemed suprised that she came up to him._

_Helena was feeling sick, how could he!? When asking him out to the next Hogsmeade trip, he had laughed in her face and told her he would never date a geek. She wasn't a geek! Maybe she sometimes looked like one and wanted to get good grades to impress her parents, but she would never like reading schoolbooks for fun. Normal fiction and fantasy, most muggle books, they were always piled on stacks wherever she went. Her parents never approved of them, but we're lingering off subject now. _

_Looking into the mirror, she saw her brown eyes turn blue. It was a family trait, to have two colored eyes and they mostly meant stress or anger. Helena was angry, very angry. She was going to show everyone she wasn't the nerd they all thought she was. With her wand, she got herself some scissors and cut her hair till a few inches past her shoulders, instead of the lingering hair that was way down her back to her kneecaps. Her hair went into layers and she changed her clothes too. She didn't look like a slut, but less like that geek Granger, who everyone seemed to like though she was a bookworm. _

_They always like the ones who hang around celebrities, She thought. She didn't like Harry Potter, he sometimes bragged, though maybe not noticing, he still did it. Why tell everyone about it seven times? Or even eight? It was getting annoying...._

_December 7__th__ Fifth grade_

_Helena had gotten back at Finnigan now for laughing at her, he seemed to feel sorry. She treated everyone with less respect, paid only attention when she didn't know about the subject, and further yelled at everyone beneath her grade. They were always in her way. Yes, she was still angry, wouldn't you be? Snape seemed to like the difference in Helena and started treating her more like a Slytherin. At night she would take strolls, greet Snape, have a little talk about everything and nothing and then leave for the East wing. No one wandered there in the evening, since it was the wing where the Ravenclaws were stationed and they were such goody goodies. _

_An empty classroom. Not for long. With a flick of her wand she changed it to her perfect room, Trisha was so going to love this. This was going to be the hangout of only their group. Who's Trisha? Her full name is Trisha Yaione Frost and she's a fifth year Slytherin. Currently the best friend of Helena and they tell each other everything. When a lie was told, they would know and they gossiped about everyone, spreading all kinds of news. When coming upon several Gryffindors with their gossip for that day, Helena knew the nastiest things that people even would believe. The golden trio wasn't going to believe what was going to hit them. It was what they deserved after all._

-End Flashback-

She looked at me quite shocked, knowing I wasn't lying.

'Did you use a pregnancytest?... We should get a muggle one now, come on.' Trisha apperated, taking me along. We ended up in an alley at London. It was about, let's say it was very late. Somehow some shops were still open and she dragged me into one of them, buying such a pregnancytest and then dragged me back out. She panted, being more nervous than me about this.

'Alright, we can head there, you go to the bathroom. If you are pregnant then I'm going to kill him.' My eyes widened when she said that, since I knew she would.

'No, no, please don't.' Trisha saw my face and cooled down to my best friend, smiling at me.

'Okay okay, I won't. But you'll take an abortion will you?' She looked at me with an intense stare, it almost freaked me out had I not had that stare for over a million times.

'I don't know.' I fumbled with the plastic and bit my bottomlip.

'It's okay, just go.' Pushing me in some club, Trisha dragged me to the bathrooms, promising she wouldn't leave before I came out.

Oh no... it can't be, how could this have happened? I always used the spell when I didn't use a condom. Had I been drunk once and forgot the next morning?..., I thought. I came back out, showing it to Trisha who did nothing but stare at the strip. She blinked a few times, telling me to throw it away.

'So it's true?.... well according to what I've heard, you've got a few weeks to determine whether you are going to keep it or not. Otherwise they can't remove it any more.' Nodding, I let myself get apperated back to Hogwarts by Trisha. If you wonder how we can apperate when there's a barrier? We broke some rules and removed the barrier around our dorm. Since the beginning of sixth year I've been living in Slytherin quarters, Dumbledore thought it would make me happy and it certainly did. Without the bullying of my own housemates (Gryffindors) I immediately felt better, Trisha always stood up for me.

-Flashback-

_December 10__th__ Sixth grade_

_Helena looked at her mirror image. Her eyes had turned back to dark brown over the summer and her hair had darkened too. She had cut it to her shoulders and it waved at the bottom, only slightly though. Trisha next to her still had her light brown devine curls/waves and her blue eyes which were never left without mascara and eyeliner, black of course._

_Since Helena knew Trisha, they clicked and that wasn't going to stop. The old geezer just put them together, seeing how happy they were when together._

_'Do you think we should go?' Trisha smirked at Helena and nudged her with her elbow._

_'To the Yule ball? Of course! We are going to shine and of course, we are going stag. More fun then.' Helena flipped her hair over her shoulder and laughed with her best friend._

_'Shouldn't we be getting our dresses then? When everyone goes to Hogsmeade, all the good ones will be long gone.' Trisha said checking out her nails, pretending to not care about anyone else but herself._

_'Yes, then we can snatch away all the most beautiful dresses and laugh at the people wearing the stupid dresses we left behind.' Helena dragged Trisha over to their room so they could apperate, the other girls wouldn't know what came over them when they see there are no good dresses left._

_December 25__th__ Sixth grade _

_Their plan had gone perfectly. By the time the others finally got to go to Hogsmeade, all the beautiful dresses had been taken. Helena and Trisha were doing their make-up in their dorm, passing certain beauty products to each other when asked. And after putting on their dresses, they did each other's hair. _

_Helena's hair was pulled up in a twirling knot on the back of her head with two lighter strings of hair hanging out at the front in her face. Trisha's hair was braided on the head and the rest was combed and put in a tail. _

_Giggling, they imagined all those other girls looking at them in jealousy for they were most definitely the most beautiful girls at the ball._

_Fashionably late, the girls appeared at the top of the stairs, walking side by side, they put on an arrogant look on their faces. No nice smiles or hellos were thrown to the crowd like the others did. The two bitches just made their way into the Great Hall which had been made beautiful, almost to match their looks. _

_'Let's sit over here.' Shooing away some Hufflepuff wallflowers, they took their seats almost at the head of the square table, just like the teachers. No one was allowed to sit next to them and everyone who even came near was greeted with one of their famous glares. _

_'This is just too much fun.' Helena said while looking at the menu for that evening._

_'Yes, what do you order?' Pointing at all the fattening food at the list, Helena made some sickening sounds._

_'I think I want something light, you can't dance on a full stomach. Jeez, just look at that girl, we didn't snatch away the most ugly ones and now she's wearing that!' Trisha looked completely shocked, that girl wasn't allowed to be in the same room as them wearing that!_

_'That's gross, did her grandmother make it or something?' Both girls glared at the girl, before spreading a rumor about her. Sure it hadn't been in their plans for that evening, but the girl was just asking for it. If you ruin the night of the bitches, they bitch to you. Everyone knew their rules, but apperantly this girl didn't and she deserved the lesson._

_His arms held her close as they swished over the floor. Envy had filled the room as both girls had found their dancingpartner and didn't want to dance with anyone else. At least it seemed that way. _

_Helena's partner had been tagged away by another guy. He was very handsome and the grip he held on her was like she shouldn't dare to walk away. Helena had never been a girl that went by the rules. She didn't even finish the dance and walked away from him, the arrogance he had to just assume she would like to dance with him. She felt pissed beyond words and sulked after getting her drink._

_Trisha found her after the dance and the girls went out for a walk, while thinking of very mean and nasty rumours about the guy. _

_'Maybe we should say he gets dressed by his mother, you know, by letter?' It seemed to be too much work writing a letter for payback, so Trisha frowned thinking._

_'He's a rich boy, so that would be most logical.' Helena said rolling her eyes._

_'I mean he just thinks he can step up to you and take you away. He needs to be punished.' Trisha replied and thought of an old-timer. The twinkle in her eye gave her away and Helena smirked along with her._

_'Pink?' Her friend shook her head and sharpened her nails on a statue they passed._

_'No, red and gold, if it's something he hates then it's Gryffindor.' Giggles took over the girls and they went back inside to plan their prank. This guy wasn't going to get away with his cockyness._

_January 8__th__ Sixth grade_

_'Gessele! Frost!' The girls ran and ran, laughing in the mean while and looking out for anyone who might cross their path. It had been too hysterical to not laugh about it. The Slytherin prince, Draco Malfoy, dressed in Gryffindor colours. Anyone who did held in their breathe was probably doing it to not be bullied by him later, but it was almost impossible. _

_Helena tripped somehow, seeing Peeves doom up in front of her and sticking out his tongue at her. A thundercloud appeared above her head, not literal of course. She pointed at him, not knowing what to say for the first few seconds._

_'I'll let the Baron torture you, Peeves!' He immediately disappeared in one of the walls. Trisha had continued to run as Helena had told her to keep running what ever happened._

_'Well hello, care for a walk?' Sarcasm dripped off his tongue as he took her arm and lifted her off the ground. _

_'Come on Malfoy, you deserved it.' She moaned and refused to look his way._

_'In what way?' She rolled her eyes, how ignorant could he be?_

_'Being arrogant.' He stopped for a moment and placed a glare on his face when turning towards her. She was looking like she was right, she wasn't going to give up. And the knowing smirk on her face wasn't helping him either. _

_'Alright, I might've been a bit arrogant at the ball to just take you away, but there's absolutely no reason to ever paint a Slytherin in Gryffindor colours!' He was simply outraged, maybe a bit more. It made Helena laugh and that wasn't helping his temper. Though actually it made him cool down and laugh with her. She always had this contagious laugh that made everyone join her and not even the Slytherin prince could ever stay angry at her in such a position._

_'Well... Helena, I might spare you after all. But only if you turn me back.' Considering it, Helena ripped her arm loose and took a stand against the wall. She tapped her chin._

_'No, I don't think I will.' She smirked._

_'What!?' It was so amusing to see him this way, so she let him be and ran for it again._

-End Flashback-

I fell out of bed, remembering the day I and Draco became a couple. It had been on Valentine's day. Of all the days he could've chosen, he chose my least favourite day. He had brought me a rose and just asked me like that. Of course it shocked me, so did it shock the rest of the school population. He never did such a thing in public. Trisha had been signaling at me with thumbs up, almost making me throw my plate at her. It had been during lunchtime and I normally ain't in a good mood during lunch, so it suprised me that he had to ask me then.

'Another memory?..' Trisha sighed, getting me off the floor.

'Guess what?' She continued on and I watched her with interest.

'Huh?' She wasn't planning on telling me at first, but my pout made her give in.

'They let us off these two weeks, since we already finished our tests. We have two choices: A) go home, B)Stay for another two weeks and then go home.' This was my possibility to ask her, she would most likely understand. Even she was afraid for my parents.

'Uhm... I'd choose option A), but anything to keep this a secret.' I pointed at my belly, which wasn't showing the fact that I was pregnant at all.

'Oh come on, you can stay with me. That would be most logical as we are best friends. So option A) it is, let's say goodbye to a few people. Afterwards we can go pack and then fly off.' I nodded, going into the bathroom with some clothing.

I came out only twenty minutes later, fully dressed and with a black beanie pulled over my head. Some of my hair was hanging in my sight, but I didn't feel like pushing it aside. I knew there were a few people who I wanted to say goodbye to, but then I didn't need to dress up. They would accept me with this big layer of eyeliner and mascara any way.

As I approached them, I saw them already standing up. They knew I would try to get away from Draco as soon as possible.

'I'll miss you mate.' Blaise was always nice, though he was good friends with Draco. If Trisha wasn't around, I always went to him.

'I'll send you a letter soon enough. Maybe to invite you for a Quidditch match on the tv or something.' He smirked looking down on my small form.

'As long as you're happy.' Smiling, I saw Trisha breaking up with the pitiful guy that she called her boyfriend. He was a Ravenclaw and very shy. I had told her that he was no good for her, but she told me she kept him to make the other girls jealous, who all thought he was very cute.

There was one person I still had to say goodbye to, he had become quite a good aquintance of mine over the years.

'This is goodbye Severus, hope to walk into you some day.' He raised his right eyebrow like I had said something rude, making it look like he didn't like me at all to other people.

'Enjoy your life the long it lasts Helena.' This was his version of: take care and don't kill yourself. He had always been a bit distant with others around, but when you caught him alone he was quite nice. I waved at him when turning around and joined Trisha halfway the Slytherin table.

'Ready to go packing?' I sighed and hugged her, wondering if I really wanted to go after all, but my decision had already been made.

'Yes, why not. First, one last prank on the golden trio.' I nodded at Peeves who had been hiding in the chandelier for a while now. He dropped green goo all over the golden trio, who seemed outraged at him. I couldn't have been more proud of Peeves.

Sighing, I knew that had been my first and last prank since my relationship with Draco. I had just stopped when I was with him, felt so at peace that sometimes I forgot my classes. Snickering, I almost walked into him too. I just ignored him when he tried to talk to me and held my hand up as my last goodbye to him. Never was I going to let a guy get so close to me as he had done. He sometimes praised me up to the sky and look what happened. The higher you get, the harder you fall.


	2. Teddy

Chapter 2 - Teddy

-Flashback-

_October 12__th__ Seventh grade_

_School was dreadful, Trisha was trying to pull Helena back into the pranking and rumourscene, but Draco took all of Helena's time wherever she was. Life was pulling at her from all sides, but she was too busy to notice. All the time she almost broke off with Draco were now finally put to an end. She could never do it, unless he did something stupid of course._

_'Helena!' She turned hearing the voice of her still best friend._

_'Oh hey Trisha, what's up?' Helena smiled and saw Trisha look worried._

_'I wanted to talk to you about Draco.' What was up now? There had been more people wanting to talk to her about Draco..._

_'What now?' She frowned and looked quite agitated in Trisha's point of view._

_'There's this girl...' Helena groaned and held her head with her hands._

_'Trisha... if you even try lying to me it won't work. Try to get your nose out of my bussiness before our friendship breaks itself up. Come on, we both know we'll die without each other.' Trisha shrugged, knowing that she just wanted to tell Helena the truth, but Helena was too much in love to notice. If only life could go back to the year before, when Draco didn't cheat on Helena. They had been such a perfect couple._

_'Suit yourself.' She waved the problem away and walked back to where she came from._

_May 23__th__ Seventh grade_

_She's been so blind. Trisha had warned her, Blaise had warned her and even Draco showed signals. He had been with another girl during the summer and now he still cheated on her. Her mind was driving her mad and everything that currently was happening ripped her to shreads. _

_She went to find Draco, this was going to end. Hallway after hallway, staircases moving down._

_Tears streaming down her face and it only got worse when she found him in bed with someone else. Her heart broke right there and then. His eyes stood wide and it looked like that he wanted to explain himself as she ran away, screaming that she hated him._

-End Flashback-

Arriving at Trisha's compartment we both immediately started unpacking and deviding the rooms in what purpose they were going to fulfil.

'How about we'll go out tonight to celebrate that were no longer there?' I wondered what Trisha was up to now... We don't go out very often you see.

'Sure... how long is it going to take before our NEWTs arrive?' Trisha yawned and laid down on her bed lazily.

'About a four weeks, why?.. Oh wait, you want to know if you'll be able to get your dreamjob. That's it, isn't it?' I grinned, I so desperately wanted to work at St. Mungo's.

'Yes and you?' Her hands were raised in the air, first displaying strange signales before she finally remembered how to make her thumbs stick up.

'I hope so.' Continuing with our chatter and eventually putting on music, we were done by the end of the afternoon. We had given the walls different coloors, some had icons, some had strange items in them. Stones, wood, glass, fabric, it was a bit like nature in a dark way plus some unusual items, like a tv where we would be watching Quidditch games and new known things on the new channel Wizard Conclussions. Of course there were also other channels, but I'm not going to explain them all to you.

'Okay, let's get dressed and then we'll head off to this place I've heard of.' I nodded, retreating to my room. I felt sweaty and sticky, so the first on my list was to shower to get rid of the smell that was forming beneath my armpits. Gross!

I wasn't going to wait any longer, she had told me to but I wasn't going to. Trisha had been in that walk-in closet we shared for about a half hour now and that was a bit too long to my liking.!

'Sorry to have kept you waiting, here you go.' She handed me a long black dress and some black high heels, before pushing me into the room to get dressed. She had already been ready for a few minutes I guess, with her white dress and her hair flowing over her shoulders, she was as beautiful as she was a year ago.

'Put them on so I can do your hair and make-up.' I got out of my jeans, till I figured out that my shoes had to go first.

'Where are we going?' I heard her making a mess as usual, behind me.

'It's a party, for rich people, you know how much my mother likes to give parties like that.' Trisha's mother is giving a party? But she never does that unless something is going on... She's got to be kidding me! I thought and looked at her with wide eyes.

'What's the occassion?' I suggested her not to tell me that it was because of my pregnancy and she clearly shook her head.

'No, it's because I'm no longer under the vision of the old geezer. Now hurry up!' Tripping over my own feet, I managed to look like a fool, but not even then did Trisha laugh. I really did need to hurry up.

It was very crowded and you could clearly see that it was for only rich purebloods as Trisha had indicated before.

'I don't feel very much at home, the mean looks they keep giving me.' Her hand was placed on my shoulder and she whispered something in my ear.

'That's because youre beautiful and single, they're just jealous.' Swallowing, I kept walking and after only a few minutes we found Trisha's mother. She was a nice lady, who liked keeping her looks up in order to keep attracting stares. Her husband wasn't that happy with that fact, but he had to live with it, since he could show off with her.

'Good evening mother, this is Helena. You remember her, don't you?' The elderly woman closed her eyes for a moment to think.

'Oh yes, last year when we went to take you home, we saw her drive off in a limo...' Money was always big bussiness in her eyes.

'Oh... that. It's nice to see you, mrs Frost.' She laughed at my use of words.

'Just call me Heather, deary. Jean Claude, come here, I want to introduce you to Helena Gessele. Isn't she a pretty girl?' The man nodded and made me blush, I had never blushed because of a man before, so it made me feel akward.

'My pleasure, ms Gessele. Daughter, how do you like the party?' Trisha pouted and let her shoulders hang.

'It's a bit crowded with old people, isn't it?' Her father laughed and took a look at the schedule one of his butlers brought him.

'Don't worry, they'll be going in half an hour or so. Then younger couples and their children will come. I hope the Malfoys will come, I did invite them.' My eyes went wide slightly, but only Trisha noticed.

'Excuse me, I think I need some fresh air.' Her parents nodded, but Trisha followed right after me.

'I know, but he's still at school, isn't he?' I screamed and held my head as I crouched down in panic-mode.

'His parents don't know of our break up, not yet.... they'll be angry at him. You know what they'll do to him when they are angry!' I loved the Malfoys to pieces and I used to love Draco as well. It was too much for me to bear now.

'I know, I know, the torturing curse. But so far as I know he deserves it. He deserves it to suffer as much pain as you have had in the past few weeks.' It sounded like logic, as it usually did with her, but I was so confused.

'But imagine, if they have invited his parents then my parents will come along immediately, as Narcissa will invite them.' Trisha scratched the back of her head and looked at the sky. It was already becoming late, it seemed like we had arrived only seconds ago.

'Maybe it's better that we get out of here as soon as possible. If I had known this I hadn't even tried to get you here and would've gone alone.' We hugged, it always helped to get control of my emotions again when she hugged me.

'Best Friends for Life.' We held pinkies, something we decided on when we were drunk once, though I don't remember when. Trisha is always the more sober one when it comes to drinking.

'Oh there you are dearies. The Malfoys and Gesseles have arrived. Come along to say hi.' Almost. Almost were we able to sneak away unseen, but Heather had to see us.

'Hi mom.' My mother looked at me surprised and put a fake smile on her face.

'Oh hi deary, I didn't know you were here. And to go seperate is a bit odd.' Oh god, he did come along. I thought and looked away from my mother to not alarm her.

'Helena, how good to see you!' Narcissa hugged me and I immediately felt like I was going to fall to pieces.

'I don't feel so good, could you excuse me.' Even before I got to see Draco, I ran out, fortunately not creating a scene as the others didn't mind someone running out. Trisha came after me only fifteen minutes later. She looked a bit troubled.

'We're having a problem....'

Last night had been dreadful as I heard my and Draco's parents were discussing marriage between me and Draco. I had immediately gone back to discover Draco was dancing with someone I didn't know. I had told them of our break up, maybe Trisha had been right. Draco deserved to be hurt as much I had. I didn't leave out much detail, making it even worse for him. I had expected though that the Malfoys would never want to talk to me again, but instead they turned their backs on Draco. He seemed to feel an unknown emotion as Malfoys normally don't feel emotion. Especially Lucius was very disappointed in him, like he had expected it already, making the punishment even more terrible than Narcissa suggested. I smirked the smirk I always used upon victory. Knewing he had seen it, I told my parents and Trisha's folks that I was leaving.

The whole night I hadn't been able to sleep. I felt sick, really and the thought that I might become a mother made me happy and sad at the same time. I had been sitting up for a while now, looking out the window and saw the sun rising.

'Elle? You look terrible....' Trisha came over from her bed and sat on mine.

'I'm going to pamper you all day, how does that sound?' Suddenly I was remembered of my morning sickness and I ran for the bathroom.

'I think that means that it sounds good.'She joked, running after me.

'What now?' I had been sitting in front of the tv for a while. Trisha always kept her promises so now there I was sitting, in front of the off tv, waiting on my breakfast.

'Almost ready... oh and I have a suprise for you.' I let myself fall down and yawned because of my lack of sleep.

'Huh?' On that very moment, the door opened and two heads came round the corner. Blaise and Richard had come to join Trisha in pampering me. According to Trisha, Richard has had a little crush on me ever since he saw me, so I'm ought to be a little suspicious of him, sometimes.

'I brought vanille icecream.' Richard held up a bucket full of icecream.

'And I brought along coffee beans for your favourite coffee, don't you love us now?' I got up from the couch and walked right past them. I closed the door and looked at their shocked faces.

'You forgot to close the door. I'm already cold as I am now.' Both their grins were replaced by sad looking faces.

'What?' I held up my hands in defence and walked back, till my back reached the door.

'There's something you're not telling us, little one.' Blaise lifted me off the ground and back on the couch, where my blanket was laying.

'Come on, you can trust us.' I got tears in my eyes, I didn't want to tell them and at the same time I wanted to yell it at the whole world.

'I'm pregnant...' That sure hit them as they kept looking at me with wide eyes.

The guys had reacted totally different then I had expected, they didn't try to force me to get an abortion. They wanted me to make my own decision.

'How long?' Blaise had been laying with his head on my lap for a while now, looking at the Quidditchgame on tv. Richard was sitting between my legs and Trisha was sitting on the floor next to him. Snacks were all over the small table and the sound of the tv was put very loud.

'I guess... about 3 weeks.' I guessed, since that was the last time I had been in Draco's bed. I still can't believe that I was so oblivious, but love really does make blind.

'And abortion can take place till 20 weeks right?' I nodded and got my hand through his hair, seeing him smile at me.

'Yes, but I don't want to wait that long. I want to make my decision as quick as possible, that way I can't bond with the baby if I don't want it now.' The game had been over as quick as it had begun, it had been exciting but they had shortened it in, since it was only a summary of what had happened the day before.

'That was a nice game. Need something Elle?' The pampering day was still on, but I didn't feel like being pampered. I could do what ever they wanted to do for me, I wasn't wounded or anything.

'No, thank you.' I put my legs on the couch when Blaise went away for the bathroom, now I had some legspace.

'Want some of that icecream?' Richard placed the bucket on his head with a spoon laying on it. I grinned, his spontanious behavior was always nice to have around.

'Yes, why not.' I took it from him and opened it. While eating it, I felt something hard in the icecream when I had switched from the spoon to my hands. (I know normal people don't do that, but it tastes nice too this way. Like it is rather strange to eat a chicken leg with knife and fork.)

It was a key.

'Uhm, Rick? Is there supposed to be a key in the icecream?' He nodded entousiastically.

'This special flavour does have one.' I felt the urge to break out in a grin, the way he talked made me feel normal. Feeling normal feels good.

'Explain.' I put the bucket on his head and saw him duck because of the cold. You could hold no secrets from me.

'It's a present.' I felt excited when he first said that, so it wasn't quite surprising that my voice sounded a little higher after that.

'Where?' He hugged my legs so I couldn't go just yet, not until he told me where it was at.

'I let Trisha bring it into your room, so I guess it's there.' Knowing how much I liked presents, he went right after me to see the look on my face when I opened it. There was a box standing on my bed, you know like an old-fashioned jewelrybox, the one I liked.

'And you didn't even notice I was gone a little bit too long during the break?' I smirked, putting the key in the hole. Upon opening it, I found a teddybear and a dummy.

'In case you might keep the baby, it's a nice remembrance. At least what I thought.' Tears stood in my eyes and with the teddy still in my arms, I hugged Richard.

'Thank you.' When I let go, I kept hugging the teddy.

'I think I made my decision. I'm going to keep it.' Richard smiled, taking the beanie off my head.

'A mother shouldn't be wearing such a thing.' I smacked him in the arm playfully and took the beanie back. Putting it on the teddy's head, I smiled thinking of the little thing in my belly.

To be sure that the baby was healthy, I went to St. Mungos. All three went along, Richard getting extra cuddly to me. I don't mind really, I need the support now Draco isn't there to help me. I really need to put him out of my mind, but I cant since he's actually down there. It's saddens me to hear the child in the future ask: "Mommy, why don't I have a daddy like all the other children?" Really, not like that of course, but it hurts as much.

'Don't worry madame, your baby is healthy. Shouldn't the father be let in?' I didn't really listen to his question when I answered.

'Let them all in please.' Once the healer let them in, they asked about the baby, but the healer shushed them.

'I think you'll be happy to hear that your baby is healthy.' He said to Richard, who became very red.

'I am not the father, though I'm honoured.' Then the healer turned to Blaise who shooked his head too.

'Miss?' He apperantly wanted to know what was going on.

'The father left before knowing I was pregnant.' I said, not wanting this healer to know what was going on, it was already as complicated as I wanted it to get.

'That's sad to hear. Doesn't he know at all?' I shook my head, letting my hands rest on my stomach.

'It's too early to determine whether it's a girl or a boy... but I think we'll find out soon enough. Here's a card, that will make sure you'll get immediate service. Come by for your monthly check-up and if you're getting contractions it's best to take contact with me, here's my card.' He handed me two cards, one for the check-ups and one with his personal number.

'Good luck.' After he let us out, Richard broke out in a grin.

'I don't mind being the father.' I elbowed him in his side and then softly smiled.

'Maybe I'll consider making you the godfather if you're lucky.' A big boyish grin broke out on his face and he hugged me.

'Please, please!' I tried to squeeze out of his bearhug.

'The baby first needs to be born!' I said like I couldn't breath and felt his grip loosen. I pushed him away grinning. He now knew I was joking and went after me, ignoring Trisha's pleads of walking slow. She could be so lazy sometimes.

The strange thing was that later that week I got a letter from the Malfoys. Them explaining to me what they did to Draco and if I needed any comfort I could always just drop by. They also told me that they had thrown Draco out of the house.... after cursing him. He could drop by if he wanted, maybe sleep a day or two, but he couldnt stay there if it wasn't in the holidays or in the weekends. Even for Draco, this was cold and maybe a bit sad.

Trisha read along over my shoulder though and cheered out loud, while I considered maybe telling the Malfoys. I like them a lot, even more than my own folks. When I first came to Malfoy Manor they took me in with open arms, like I was already part of the family. Without them I wouldn't want to live any more.

'You can't be serious! If you tell them, they'll tell Draco!' I shook my head, pulling my knees up and rocking forth and backwards.

'I don't want to keep something back from them, they're are more like family than my own parents.' Trisha made a gesture that looked a lot like "it's your decision" or "don't involve me in it". Maybe both, she had many gestures so you don't know which is which unless you know her like I do.


	3. Cookies

Chapter 3 - Cookies

A few hours ago I sent a letter to the Malfoys, telling them that I was pregnant and that I wanted to keep the baby. They immediately wrote me back, saying they are happy that they get to have at least one grandchild, since Draco doesn't seem someone to get married. To my bad luck, they also send a letter to Draco about it and I just recieved a note from him, that he's on his way towards me. Which means no good.

A knock ended the silence that had been the moment I got the note from Draco. He stood outside the door, waiting impatiently with a probable smug facial expression or something in that direction. I waited, putting my head on the door, I really didn't want to open it.

'Open the door Elle, I know you're there.' Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. His facial expression was less bad than I had expected, but still it didn't appear to be a happy one.

'I don't want you to keep the baby, Elle.' Straight to the point, one of his bad characterics.

'You can't decide that Malfoy, it's my body and my baby.' He glared at me, still a bit surprised at me calling him by his surname.

'If this is a payback because I went to fuck that whore, then you've won already by letting my parents throw me out!' I turned from him, letting the door open.

'It's not that... I've gotten attached to it.' He groaned, entering the room.

'I don't want to marry and then hear something from you that you need money for our baby.' It was like I could hear my grandfarther turn around in his grave, since I had promised him to never be dependent on someone.

'And you won't, since it ain't your baby! I can clearly take care of myself, have done even before you decided to engross me with your touch.' Ouch, touche.

'What!? You forced yourself upon me, I had nothing to do with it!' Yes, this was turning out into an argument, how nice.

'What ever you say, go.' I didn't want to continue this, our past arguments always led to kiss and tell or just plain sex... I don't want any accidents to happen.

'I'll see you in court Elle, let's see how you think about that.' I raised my head, he knew I would never win, I didn't have the same amount of money as he had. My parents could never afford the same high-standard lawyer as Draco could.

'Please Draco...' He turned slowly, his face softer seeing me cry and hearing his name.

'If it wasn't your baby, I would've wanted to keep it too. It's already a part of me, do you really want to destroy me that bad?' It never got further than that. Blaise and Richard came for their weekly Quidditch game, they already made a tradition out of that. Let's say, they weren't too happy seeing me cry and Draco standing only a few metres away from me.

'What have you done Draco?' Of course, Blaise was still a friend of Draco, but by now he cares more for me than for him.

'Fine! You can keep it, just don't ever talk to me again!' He took a quick turn out of the appartment and apperated to hell knows where. Richard hugged me, not leaving my side for hours, not even when we were watching the Quidditch game. Maybe Trisha was right, he did like me more than just a friend.

-Flashback-

_Summer after 6__th__ year,_

_Draco's father had got them tickets for one of the biggest games of the year. Trisha and Helena couldn't be more thrilled, jumping up and down in excitement. Richard, a friend of Blaise and Draco, had come along too, but he was a bit quiet all the time._

_'Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Helena and this is Trisha.' Helena smiled at her new friend, who took her hand, planting a kiss on top. Draco happened to see that, getting a thundercloud above his head._

_'Let's go to our seats.' He took Helena's hand, twirling her into his grip. When the other three were a bit out of view, she playfully hit him on the shoulder._

_'Don't be such a baby, he was just being polite.' He growled, his eyes were blazing with fury._

_'Polite, my ass. I saw how he looked at you.' Helena rolled her eyes at his jealousy, did he really need to be that obsessive?_

_'Really Draco, you need to grow up.' She crossed her arms and tried to keep in her laughter as she saw him grow even more angry._

_'I need to grow up!?' Oh dear, Helena started laughing, she just couldn't hold it in any more. Draco smirked, kissing her softly. _

_'You did that on purpose.' She giggled and let him hold her. She placed her head on his chest and sighed._

_'Of course I did, you're cute when you're angry.' Trisha then came and took Helena to her seat, propping all kinds of sweets in her arms. This made them all laugh, but Draco kept secretly glaring at Richard throughout the whole game._

-End flashback-

I fell asleep with a smile on my face and the teddybear I got from Richard in my arms. I knew someone was looking at me, but I felt like I could never move again.

Richard moved some hair out of my face while I was asleep, sighing, feeling all warm inside.

'So when are you going to ask her out?' Trisha was nibbling on a cookie, while clenching a cup of coffee between her legs.

'I don't know, maybe when she's recovered from this whole fiasco.... I'm just afraid of what Draco might be able to do to me. He once said to me that if I ever touched her, I was going to die.' Blaise shook his head, scrunching up his hair.

'Draco's a jerk when it's about his girl, but she isn't his girl anymore. You should've seen his face when she caught him in bed with this other girl... I think I caught a flash of guilt going over his face when he told me about it. He's been wanting to apologize to her ever since it happened. He just couldn't break up with her when it first occurred, he thought he could have both girls. I told him, he shouldn't have underestimated Elle. I think that was the first time Draco ever felt his heart warm, everytime when he saw her smile it made his day.' Richard sighed again, putting a blanket over the both of us.

'Goodnight, I'm going to bed.' Trisha kissed him on the cheek, doing the same to Blaise before leaving the room.

'You think Helena will ever stop liking him?' Richard said hopeful.

'She won't if you don't give her the chance to open up for you man.' Blaise got himself a blanket too, positioning himself on the other couch and putting out the lights.

'Goodnight man and don't forget to do it as soon as possible, you never know what might come in between.' Richard smiled at my sleeping face, fearing that Draco might actually come in between again.

The next morning I felt all warm.... wait a minute. Turning around, I saw Richard still sleeping, I didn't want to wake him but I wanted to get myself dressed. Sneaking away from the livingroom, I snatched some clothes along, taking a quick shower, before I would depart to Malfoy manor. I just loved those people and I wanted to talk to them.

-Flashback-

_Christmas time at Malfoy manor, 6__th__ year,_

_Both Malfoys greeted Helena with open arms, which suprised Draco a lot. He had been warning her about his folks, that they were cold and distant, but they seemed totally different to her._

_'So tell me deary, I've only heard from Draco that he had a very gorgeous girlfriend, what's your name?' Helena blushed, putting her hands into the pockets of her coat._

_'Helena Gessele.' Mrs Malfoy smiled broadly, placing a kiss on Helena's forehead._

_'Doesn't that sound great Lucius? Helena Malfoy..' The blush spread itself over her whole face, making Draco snicker about it._

_'I'll show you your room Elle.' He took her hand, leading her upstairs before his parents could get even more embarassing._

_'Sorry for that, they normally act very cold, this is also a suprise to me.' Helena shrugged, though Draco could not see. She watched the decorations and all the amazing gold cherising the walls._

_'It doesn't matter, so where do I sleep?' Draco used his most handsome smirk to lead her into a bedroom._

_'In my room.' Before Helena could complain, he pressed his lips onto hers and managed to get her coat off._

_'I like it.' Helena smiled, looking at the darkness of the room, it was so different from the rest of the house._

_'I'm glad you do. Now what do you want to do, we have an inside pool with jacuzzi and waterfall, we can play in the snow.... you can choose.' She felt him snake his arms around her waist and leant back into him, looking thoughtful._

_'I don't care about what we do, as long I can be with you on Christmas eve.' This brought a smile on Draco's face and a twinkle in his eye that warmed her heart._

-End flashback-

The Malfoy manor hadn't changed since my last visit. When I knocked on the door, Narcissa opened instead of the usual house-elf, surprising me.

'We have been expecting you Helena. I heard you want to keep the baby and I couldn't be more excited. We can look for babyclothing, toys and everything it will need!' Narcissa hugged me tight, then leading me to the livingroom.

'Lucius, look who's here.' He looked up from the Daily Prophet with a grim look on his face, that turned into a smirk when he saw my face.

'Elle, how nice to see you.' He hugged me too, before placing his hand on my belly.

'Probably my only heir... I'm glad you decided to keep it.' He kissed me on the cheek, leading me over to one of the couches.

'We want to talk to you about Draco...' I blinked my eyes, they seemed a bit sad.

The Malfoys had left me to be as I went to the backyard. They told me how much Draco had cared for me before, how he had told them he wanted to marry me. But his parents had pushed him into impressing this girl the dark lord wanted to be his wife instead. That girl was the girl I found in his bed... it was the girl with whom he had to keep his moans under control, or he would moan my name. They heard these things from Blaise, after me and Draco had just broken up. Blaise even told them that it broke Draco's heart to see me with tears in my eyes, to know that he was the one who made me sad. The wind slowly blew some of my long brown hair in my face, while I cried the tears which should've been shed while I had been so cold towards everyone. My left hand rested on my stomach, as I moved the right one to brush the soft strings of hair out of my face.

-Flashback-

_Christmas time Malfoy manor, 6__th__ year._

_Draco groaned as I refused to have sex with him, probably for the first time._

_'Come on Drake, your parents could walk in on us any moment. It's still day-time.' He smirked, putting one hand beneath his head as he trailed the side of my half-naked body. He started kissing my neck, knowing how much I liked that. His soft pecks continued to my mouth, he nibbled on my bottom lip, which opened to release a silent moan._

_'Draco...? Oh, I see you're busy.' Blaise walked out the moment he saw my naked back getting caressed by Draco's big soft hands. This only made Draco laugh and pick up his wand to lock the door._

_'I'm sure Blaise will tell my parents were busy, now you come here.' He chased after me as I ran from him, falling on the bed as he grabbed my ankle. We both laughed, before he got his seductive look back on and started kissing me while I smiled throughout the kiss._

_After getting dressed for dinner, we quickly headed to the diningroom. We had failed to look at the time during our "play-time", making us late. The Malfoys were smirking knowingly, while Blaise sat a little farther from them, trying to contain his laughter. As Draco pulled out a chair for me, he moved a few strings of hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek in a loving manner._

-End Flashback-

As it continued to rain, I walked on the streets. While recollecting that memory, I had walked out of Trisha's apartment, down the stairs and let the doors stand open after I'd got through them. That way everyone would know where I had gone. No one was out because it was still early and a little dark. Birds in the distance sang their songs in their dry shelters, while I just watched nature enroll in the cold pouring drops of rain.

'What are you doing out here, deary?' It was an old woman, smiling to me from her front porch.

'Taking a walk while I'm still alone out here.' She got herself up with her wrinkled hands very slowly.

'Come inside before you catch a cold.' She waved me over, putting a woolen blanket over my shoulders when I reached her. I sneezed, making her laugh about it.

'Let me treat you on a cup of hot chocolate. I just made almond cookies, I'm sure you will love them. Come come.' She let me sit down on a very comfortable old-fashioned couch.

'I shouldn't stay here too long, my friends might worry about me.' From the kitchen I heard the old lady reply to me.

'You can write them a note, can't you? I'll just call my owl.' Whistling a high note, she called her owl.

'Herald likes flying and he's the one mostly going out, I've become too old to join everyone else.' Herald hooted softly, nibbling my finger softly as I moved my hand closer to pet him. I've never had a pet before and the only owls I've seen were the ones at the Owlery and of course Draco's. His black owl had always been quite fond of me. When he had a letter for Draco, he would fly to me, greet me and then head to Draco, before coming back to me. It agitated Draco and made me laugh about him, making him smile too. This made me remember the good times I had with that son of a... nice lady.

'Here's some paper and a quill, I'll get the chocolate and the cookies. I never have much company around, so it's nice that I could bring you in.' I smiled, starting to write the little note to my friends, so they wouldn't worry.

'Excuse me? Can I ask your name?' She turned to me with a big smile and placed the dish with cookies on the table in front of me, the hot chocolate soon followed. The old lady sat down in her chair and watched me when a sign of recognition fell over her face.

'Of course deary, I'm Jennifer Pellensy and what's your name?' She waited patiently as I finished the small note.

'Helena Gessele.' She looked to the side, to a photograph of her and a man I believe is her husband.

'My husband's mother was called Gessele, maybe you two are family. You have a beautiful first name by the way and it suits you so well. I can't believe I've ever seen someone who shared your beauty...' This compliment made me smile. I recieved the cup with hot choco from her and took a cookie off the dish she held in front of my face.

'Thank you.' The cookie was really delicious, like she had implied.

'It's nothing deary.' A sad look took over her face as she again looked at the picture of her and her husband. She must be very lonely, I couldn't see any pictures of children or grandchildren anywhere. It was sad.

Later on, somewhere in the afternoon I went back to Trisha's appartment. She had messaged me that Richard was very worried and asking where I was every two seconds.

'Hello?' I closed the door behind me, not seeing the attack coming. Richard started hugging me like he was afraid that I'd got myself killed.

'Chill Rick, I was only at a neighbour drinking some hot chocolate and eating cookies.' He looked at me like my father once did when I decided to sleep at a friend's house, who had dragged me out in the middle of the night when I was sleeping. It was only then when I realized that she wasn't a friend at all. My father had already warned me for her family, but I didn't believe him at first.

'You just made us worried, disappearing like that.' Blaise said this, prying Richard's hands off me.

'And Rick here almost cried.' He pointed at Richard accusingly.

'I did not.' Richard's mouth stood agape and he denied every accusation made in that direction.

'Yes you did.' Trisha smirked, getting into the conversation. She took a bite out of her green apple, before throwing it into my hands so I could have a bite. Strange habit I took from her, eating apples, at least one every day.

'Did not.' He started looking angry, but that was nothing compared to my temper. It was getting worse by the minute.

'Did too.' Blaise said with a smirk and a victorious look.

'Guys?' My left eye twitched in an annoyed manner, but they ignored it and continued their "heated" discussion.

'SHUT IT!' They both jumped, Blaise holding his heart.

'You almost gave me a heartattack, woman! Can't you quiet it down?' I didn't appriciate that joke, so I turned away from him.

'You guys wouldn't listen to me and I am pregnant so I have an excuse for being this bi-polar.' Blaise groaned, walking back to the television that still stood on.

'Why are you guys still here anyways, shouldn't you get home, take a shower, etc?' Richard pouted to me, crossing his arms over his chest, making it look very childish.

'Please? You smell.' Blaise laughed at that, jumping up from the couch as Trisha poked him in the stomach.

'Okay, we will. But we will come back later. If Malfoy shows up in the mean while, I'll kick his ass all the way back to where it came from.' I shook my head, wondering why I even befriended them.

Trisha took me to the kitchen, ordering me to cook some breakfast, since I was better at cooking breakfast than dinner. Which was her specialty. We wouldn't be able to live without each other, that I promise you.


	4. Teamwork

Chapter 4 - Teamwork

A white owl was perched on the edge of my bed while I slept. I was exhausted, without a specific reason. It started softly pecking my feet to make me wake up, but instead I crawled up to a little ball. It hooted several times, signaling Trisha that something was in my room. She entered and saw the owl, it flew over to her, giving her the message instead of me. Trisha knew out of experience that the Malfoys family owl delivered the message closest to the person it was supposed to be delivered to. Especially when it couldn't reach the actual contact at all, like now.

'Of course I'll give it to her. Here.' She gave him some snacks and some water before opening the window for him. Trisha wondered what was so important that the Malfoys sent a letter. They never did, the last time they did it was because there was a grand ball at their manor and they almost demanded me to be there. Why? Because Draco couldn't go without a date and they didnt wan't him to hang with other girls at that time at least.

'Wake up sleepy head!' Trisha threw a pillow at my head, instantly waking me up from my slumber.

'Wha?' But of course my speech and hearing were still below normal level. She threw another pillow, instantly waking my mind this time, I threw one back at her while chasing her to the livingroom.

'I got a letter from the Malfoys!' She held her arms up in the sky, begging for mercy. I never was that full of mercy after being woken up that rudely, but this was important.

'Give it to me.' She handed it over, sneaking behind me to the couch and flipped on the tv. The Wizard Conclussions channel was mostly on when she watched, unless Quidditch was on.

_Dear Elle,_

_Sorry for this abrupt message all the sudden,but were having a problem... Our dark lord wishes more people at his side, all of his most loyal deatheaters nominated people and your parents nominated you. We wanted to warn you, because he agreed in your nomination. Your friend, Trisha, has also been nominated. She was only allowed to come if he desired you to be a deatheater. Draco is also going into the belly of the beast. We wish you good luck and might you run into him, please talk to him. He refuses to talk to us at all_

_Greetings, Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy._

I dropped to the floor in that position, with my eyes still fixed on the message. Trisha came over, not even asking what was wrong. She just snatched the letter away from me and read it over herself.

Trisha could still come along, lucky me. This house is creepy and I don't like it at all. Some figures in the shadows are glaring at me and still did as I passed them.

'I don't like it here.' This place gave me the creeps.

'And you think I do?' Trisha was even worse than me, she promised me not to tell anyone though, but she's afraid of Voldemort. Yes, I do pronounce his name, since I'm not afraid of him. Just of what he could do to me, that's the thing that scares me the most.

'Move along, there's the line girl.' And this man wasn't helping, he wasn't that bad looking, but he had a temper obviously. I saw Draco walking slightly in front of us with his head high and an arrogant look in his eye. I couldn't just stand here and let him not talk to his parents, they were his parents after all.

'Draco?' He saw me walking next to me, only after I talked to him though.

'Yes?' His voice sounded angry, almost like he hated me. I saw the double doors at the end of the hall come in sight.

'Is it possible that I could talk to you later on?' He looked straight ahead, his features softened somewhat.

'Sure.' He went to walk faster while I waited for Trisha to catch up with me. She nodded at me, knowing that I was being myself and helping the Malfoys out. We went inside a gigantic room, which was totally empty next to the huge amount of people. We were put in groups of five, me ending up without Trisha by my side, but I still had Draco. Though I wasn't completely sure why I found that so comforting.

'You will go in by five, do a test and if you succeed, then you are allowed to be inspected by our lord. If you fail in the test, we will erase your memories of this place and just send you home. Any questions?' Yes, that man sure did have a temper, but still I raised my hand.

'Yes missy?' He sounded even more agitated because he saw it was me.

'On what grounds are we split in groups?' His eyes twinkled somewhat in amusement.

'Then at least someone does notice.... it's vased on your capabilities. But I will not tell at what unless you succeed the test.' Rolling my eyes, I saw the first group enter the room, there was nothing I could hear from the back of the room, there had to be something so I could hear what was going on. Getting my wand out, I thought of the first spell that came to mind, non-verbally casted I found out that the whole room was bewitched with some kind of defeaning spell. Meaning you couldn't hear anything from the outside, unless you find the weak spots. Which were always the doors. With that information in my head, I cast another spell, hitting right through the barrier and hearing screams and spells being cast.... were they having a battle against real deatheaters? Survival skill, stealth, agility... what were they looking for?

'Do you mind stopping?' The man walked up to me with a glare.

'Huh?' I looked up to the man, he again had an amused glint in his eyes.

'Stop spying on the test.' The other people in the room heard what I was doing, whispering wonders on how I was doing that. They hadn't heard or seen a spell being cast, neither did they saw me move. Draco snickered from beside me, making me put my wand away. The man disappeared farther into the room, leaving me to be.

'What did you hear?' Draco seemed a bit curious about the fact that it seemed that I heard something after all.

'Screams, spells being cast... nothing more. I couldn't make out the test, I need more time.' He nodded and gripped his wand in his fist.

'Too bad, but it's at least something. Now I know I need to keep my wand ready. Thanks for the information.' It was time for us five to go in. I could see that the two guys on my right were too cocky for their own good and maybe also for mine. They could be in the way when the test began... The lights faded, slowly the room changed to a forest-like place, with the full moon blazing high up in the sky. Draco grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the group.

'What are you doing? We have to stay together!' He placed his indexfinger on his lips, asking me to be silent.

'That's exactly what I'm doing, staying with the one I know who won't screw up.' He was smirking, watching the group look surprised because we just miraculous disappeared into the darkness of the woods. A scream was heard, and I saw one of the guys fall to his knees, soon the other was also hit. The last one remaining had dived for the bushes. Draco put his hand in front of my mouth, so our attackers wouldn't find us.

'I only took two out, where are the other three?' My eyes widened as I saw Snape bursting from the shadows with an ugly smirking man behind him. Draco took his wand, motioning me to get mine. I knew we just couldn't attack them like that, they would expect such a thing. The other guy who remained alone just did that, sinking to the ground in a heap of misery like the others. Draco turned to me, getting his hand from my mouth.

'Do you trust me?' Memories flashed before my eyes, but I knew this wasn't the time to be angry with him or just to apologize to him for being such a bitch. I had to make a decision, and it simply was a yes.

'Yes, I do.' He smiled, one of the things he mostly did when we were still together.

'Good, you take out Snape, I'll take Nott.' I knew what he meant with that, I knew Snape's weak spot and I didn't know the other. If we trusted each other and worked together, we would easily beat them. He first moved away from me, so he could get closer to that Nott guy. I just happened to feel a sting of distrust... what if he went against me?... Only one way to find out.

'Hello gentlemen.' I stepped out of the shadows, my eyes weren't visible to them and so also weren't my emotions.

'Helena.' I heard Snape's confused tone, yes I was his weak spot. I was the only one that had been able to break through his thick skin, just because I could.

'I'm sorry Severus.' I raised my wand and so did I raise my head, no smile, no tears, no anger... just a want to succeed at least at one thing in my life. I wanted to be better then the rest... then it happened. Draco jumped from the shadows as well, taking Nott out. Snape simply froze in his place after I cursed him. I moved over to him, touching the ice that I had made around him, just so I wouldn't hurt him at all.

'You two have passed the test, congratulations.' I heard a sly voice say behind me, the room was lightened, turned back to normal and so did Nott and Severus.

'You're the first to defeat Snape, my child. Impressive.' I smiled at Severus, who smiled a small smile back. I knew he was proud of me, he always told me that he hoped that we were family. I silently did the same. Along with the Malfoys, Trisha, Blaise and Richard, he was all I ever had. But he was before them, he was my most loyal friend.

'Come closer you two.' I heard the voice again, turning around to meet the owner of it. I saw a middle aged man standing there, not too bad looking. A different man than I expected him to be. From what I heard he first was more snake-like.... but then he managed to get his old look back and made time go backwards. Like time had stood still for him. Just like it did to me now. Draco gave me a kiss on the cheek, taking my hand in his, but I didn't know why he acted this way all the sudden. Maybe it was because Voldemort was there.

'I heard you are pregnant with Malfoy's baby, is that right?' Severus frowned on my right, showing curiosity towards me.

'Yes, I believe that's right my lord.' 'Splendid... I knew you wouldn't be up for the job of being a deatheater's wife only... Yes, you are qualified to be one of my deatheaters. I understand that Snape doesn't mind teaching you the stuff you need to know?' Snape regained his cold exterior.

'Of course not my lord.' Voldemort nodded at him, turning around.

'I of course can't just point a real sly, cunning and above all evil man the door, when he's hardly needed with his experiences. Malfoy, report to Snape as well. I do think you two would make good partners in the missions I will give you.....'

Draco and I were allowed to go, but he didn't let go of my hand. He actually put his arm around me, like we were back together again.

'Draco... can we talk now?' He nodded, we had gone to Malfoy manor on my behalf.

'I heard the whole story from your parents and I'm sorry I didn't want to hear you out.' He nodded, kissing my hand softly.

'And I'm willing to forgive you if you forgive me.' His most adorable smirk ended upon his face, but I just had to shatter that picture.

'But I can't get back together with you.' He moved our hands down, looking at me with shock, an unknowing look followed. He wasn't the one to ask why or why not, so I answered anyway.

'I still need to sort certain things out and with this new responsibility I can't concentrate on three things at a time. I can do two, but that's all I can do.' He knew I was talking about the baby, that I couldn't have training, thinking about the baby and then also about Draco. It would be too crowded in my head, maybe I would get killed, and so would the baby.

'I understand... but can you at least promise me this.' I had never promised Draco anything, so it was weird for him to start now.

'What is it Draco?' His eyes were dead serious.

'That neither of us can date anyone else.' This struck my mind when I went back to Richard, he had been so sweet to me. He and Draco couldn't stand eachother and I heard Trisha tell me that he wanted to ask me out when the time is right. I cant just tell him that I'm back with Draco, that would break his heart. But I could tell him I'm not ready, then I can delay everything and nothing would happen. Also, I needed Draco to not tell him anything.

'I can do that... on one condition.' He smirked, knowing he had me.

'And what is that?' His hand snaked back into mine.

'You will tell no one, make no suggestion, that were back together, cause we're not.' He nodded, his pride a bit hurt, but he could live with it.

'As long as I don't find you in Richard's or Blaise's arms... or anyone at all for that matter.' I glared at him for that.

'Can't I even hug them?' He understood he sounded a bit too extreme.

'I think I'll be able to handle that.' He made me stand closer to him.

'And I want Richard to be the godfather of the baby.' That's where Dracos mind froze... Richard?

'Why him?' His voice sounded so angry, though he tried not to. He didn't want to cause a fight between us now.

'Because Trisha's not a man and I trust him more than I trust Blaise.' He snickered at my first joke, but he still knew whom I was talking about.

'On one condition then again.' He kissed me on the forehead.

'What might that be Drake?' He smirked at that old nick.

'That I get a kiss.... on the mouth.' Rolling my eyes, I didn't think negative thoughts and gave him a peck on the lips. His smirk went back to adorable and he hugged me for a moment. Narcissa then walked in on us and squealed.

'Elle!' She hugged me then turned to Draco.

'So how did it go?' She was a bit too enthousiastic for me at the moment.

'We're both accepted... as a team.' Again she squealed and then hugged us both. She moved us to the livingroom where Lucius as always was reading the Daily Prophet. It seemed that he never got his eyes away from those daily messages and he kept reading them all day... unless he had an interesting book about the dark arts in his hands.

'Lucius! They got accepted!' He looked up, seeing us both standing there, a bit akward around each other still. At least I felt akward, Draco tried to pull me to him, but I shook my head at him.

'Its what was to be expected. Mandy!' A maid appeared, I didn't know they stepped off of those house-elves... since when did they decide to do that?

'Yes, sir?' She bowed to him formally.

'Did you prepare the rooms I asked?' She brushed some dust from her apron, making me think she had been to the kitchen before.

'Yes, sir.' He nodded, sending her away.

'Your rooms have been prepared, Trisha and your other two friends will come here after getting their stuff. Narcissa filled your closet along with some of the maids, we hope you don't mind.' I didn't exactly mind, it was Lucius talking after all.

'I don't Lucius.' I smiled, turning to the staircase, but I just tried to get myself away from Draco's hands.

'Draco, quit it!' I just felt like screaming at him.

'Leave the poor girl alone boy.' Draco turned around to his father, wondering if they were good now.

'Hey! I'm not poor!' We both started laughing before I went to run away from Draco, who ran after me with a playful grin playing on those delicious lips.


	5. Arranged Marriage

Chapter 5 – Arranged marriage

I sat in my room brushing my long brown hair, taking a look at my eyes. They didn't change that much lately, meaning I felt better. A knock was heard at the door, so I went to see who it was. The three mentioned before jumped on me with big grins.

'Guys, guys!' I tried to get myself some air, but they wouldn't let me escape.

'Let her have some air, you don't want her to become as stiff as a board do you?' It was Draco, he had chosen a bad time to come see me. Richard and Blaise were still mad at him for making me cry the other day. They both glared at him. I just closed the door in his face, while he tried to object at first but then groaned and turned away.

'Now, why were you all piling down on me?' Trisha was jumping on my bed.

'Weeeeeh!' She giggled when landing on her butt, before bouncing away and on top of the boys.

'Oopfh.' Blaise felt like the air had been beaten out of him. He rolled her off him and went to stand, but was pushed back by a laughing me.

'Elle!' He glared at me playfully. I felt two arms snake round my waist, meaning that Richard was trying to be cuddly.

'You can't just say that you didn't miss us.' I rolled my eyes, I hadn't been gone that long. He put his head on my shoulder, kissing it softly. My eyes widened for a moment and Trisha happened to catch that as usual.

'Could you two leave us for a moment?' Both boys groaned but didn't dare to test her wrath. Roar!

'So tell me what's going on. I saw the look on your face when Draco came here and he wanted to be in your room too badly.' We both plopped down on the bed, facing each other.

'I just heard the complete story from his parents, about the set-up and everything. We both forgave each other but I made him promise to not make it look like we we're back together, cause we're not. Just for the sake of Richard, I can't just be back to some guy he hates when he doesn't know why...' She nodded, understanding why I was so akward all the sudden.

'So you like both but you promised Draco you wouldn't date anyone but him?' I rolled my eyes, it felt even more terrible when she said it.

'Yes, that was his suggestion.' She made a butterfly with her hands, letting it fly through the air.

'Okay, I get it... I have to admit something to you though.' She started blushing, something she never does.

'What?' She crawled up to a little ball and let herself fall of the bed, making me laugh.

'I like Richard too, he's so cute and adorable, but he really does love you...' I felt my heart shatter somewhat, I liked both. I'm afraid to break either of their hearts and because Draco is the father of the baby and apologized for his behavior... I guess I already made my choice.

'Could you like try to seduce him? Ask him out or anything?' She sighed and let her sad face hang down.

'I tried but he took me aside from you guys and told me that he was sorry but that he liked you. There's nothing I can do about it unless you are back with Draco.' Groaning, I put my head into one of the pillows. She did the same and we laid like that for a while. How in the hell can I escape from this odd life that seems to be happening to dislike me?

It was soon dinnertime, which meant that we needed to dress up. Trisha left me for her own room, while I finally went to check out the walk-in closet and it's contents. It was filled with all kinds of clothes, some I liked, some I didn't. Then there was this dress I loved, I just couldn't put that on now, maybe at a bigger party once. For now I stuck with a black corset dress, it was just a bit hard to pull all the strings at my back. I struggled with it for a few minutes, till I understood that I was going to be late if I continued to fall over at times.

'Shit...' I walked to the door, opening it with my elbow. The person closest to me was Draco, so I headed to his room, knocking with my elbow. He opened, checking me out before smirking to my face.

'Can I help you?' He leant on the doorpost as if I was offering my body to him.

'Yes, you can. Could you pull these strings?' I turned to show him the strings of the corset. I heard him groan, now knowing I actually came for something other than sex.

'Done, anything else?' He came closer to me, making me cower back.

'No, thank you.' I smiled at him, leaving him a bit confused. I hardly ever smiled at him when he did something for me, I just thanked him and went on with what ever I was doing.

'Wait, wait.' He ran after me, but I was already back in my room, he just barged in after me.

'Yes?' I raised an eyebrow while trying to put my hair up. His hands helped me while he looked at me through the mirror.

'You look beautiful, you know that right?' Handing him the elastic bands, I watched him do something that I could not do on my own.

'Guess so, I'm not a cocky person or something like that.' He finished my hair, moving his hands to my shoulders and letting them go down my arms. It was like my body was waiting on something to happen, but Trisha barged in with a load of dresses while asking me what to wear. She blushed seeing that she interrupted in... practically nothing yet. But still she blushed! For everything there has to be a first time right? Blushing about a guy is a thing that can happen to anyone, but Trisha blushing because she intruded into my room when I was busy?

'Uh...' She took a few steps, but I motioned her that it was nothing.

'Don't worry. Draco was just leaving, wasn't he?' He groaned, walking out of the room defeated.

'What was happening here?' Trisha was now smirking, she had gotten out of the prude mode and back into 'I don't care about anything or anyone you got it?'. It was really funny to see her being prude for once.

'He was helping me bind my dress, like it?' I twirled showing her how much fun I still thought it was that the bottom of the dress rose and tried to keep up with my circling.

'Yes, but he wasn't busy with your dress and you were sitting down.' I rolled my eyes, wanting to hit her.

'Okay and he also helped me with my hair, anything else you need to know?' I crossed my arms in front of my chest, restraining myself from attacking her and ruining my dress.

'Yes... how come you always get the cutest guys?' We both laughed before I helped her and applied some make-up. My eyes turned blue, I was confused and felt unhappy. When Blaise and Richard had come over I always had brown eyes, Draco made me sad.

Trisha and I moved down the stairs to see the boys and the Malfoys standing downstairs waiting on us.

'Were going to a restaurant.' Richard tried to put his arm around me, but I decided to walk a bit quicker and ended up next to Lucius.

'So to which restaurant are we going?' I swallowed knowing Richard would look at me weird at the moment. I felt troubled, knowing I would need to tell him once.

'That's a suprise my, dear... along with something else that will happen there.' I frowned, he never kept things from me...this wasn't fair! He laughed at my face, letting me take his arm while Narcissa held on to his other. From the growling behind me, I knew Blaise, Richard and Draco were arguing again, while Trisha of course tried to seperate them while normally she would jump right on top of Draco as well.

'What's wrong with you Trisha?' Blaise almost yelled at her, now pointing his anger at her. It was a bit strange that he did that, he hadn't been angry at her before.

'Nothing, we're just at the Malfoys, meaning we need to behave... _I'll explain to you guys later..._' Then we all apperated while touching Lucius, kind of weird setting but he was the only one knowing where we were going.

'Lucius, Narcissa! Oh Helena, you look stunning.' What was my mother doing here? She must be part of the suprise, no wait... A lot of deatheaters I recognized were here too, a deatheater party or some sort? The owner opened the doors for us, guiding us into a huge victorian styled room. It indeed appeared to be a deatheater party, but there was a special occasion to it.

'If I can have everybody s attention please? It's best to do the announcements now and not letting anyone wait. If you will all stand up for our lord.' Voldemort entered the room through a non-existing door, nodding at me as I looked at him. Why me?

'I'm here to announce certain things within our community. Such as more training for a battle will be soon to come. More aurors have been trying to find us, so we will train people more in stealth and speed than in power. Such things you will be ought to learn yourself. Further more, I want to announce an engagement.' The thoughts in my head spun around like crazy and it didn't become better when Voldemort looked at me.

'Together with their parents I decided that it was best for us that Helena Gessele and Draco Malfoy get married. I will also see their baby as the heir of my throne.' I couldn't believe my ears... did he really say me and Draco? I got pushed to where Voldemort stood, Draco just walked here full of pride. I saw Richard almost flaming at the end of the table, with a furious look he gazed at Draco. Then he gave me a tender look because I looked a bit worried.

'With this ring I give you I say that you will be married off on Halloween.' The ring was placed on my finger, it was an exact copy, but than smaller, of Voldemort's own ring. Draco saw what he gave me, the ring locked itself around my finger and I knew that even when I died it wouldn't get off. A bright light evolved around me, before it stopped and everything turned back to normal. Voldemort looked at me, so I got the worried look of my face and kept my face plain.

'You all may now eat.' The waitors got here with plates full of food. Draco and I were motioned to sit across from each other next to Voldemort himself. Draco kept trying to put his hand on mine or on my thigh, but he felt himself unable to do so as I kept scooting away from him. When Voldemort noticed, he moved me across from Draco and started to converse with me about my non-verbal spells, he had seen how good I was at them.

Later on the evening the tables and chairs were moved to the side and music was playing in the background. Draco asked me to dance and I couldn't refuse because Voldemort kept an eye on me. It made me wonder why.

'Why are you so quiet?' Draco raised my chin in the middle of the dance and kept his eyes on mine. He looked at both of them, finding nothing at all.

'I'm just thinking... that's all.' He smirked shortly putting his lips to my cheek, he kept it formal knowing I would freak if he would start frenching me in public. Richard stood on the side with a glare on his face. He couldn't stand the fact that he couldn't have me. When Trisha came to ask him to dance, he gladly took the offer and started leading her towards us. After a while of dancing, the music stopped and Richard tapped on my shoulder, pointing outside.

'Can I talk to you?' I nodded, following him outside after telling Draco not to worry. We walked outside, strolling through the garden of the restaurant. Richard put his hand in mine, but no longer in a loving way, it was rather friendly.

'It's too bad you know, this all?' I looked up to him to see him wipe away a tear that had fallen down his cheek.

'I would've asked you to be mine if this hadn't happened.' He was such a sensitive guy... wait? His plans went beyond girlfriend and boyfriend? I still couldn't speak so I just listened him out.

'I hope Draco wouldn't mind us still being friends.' I placed my head on his shoulder, sighing.

'I'm sure he doesn't or I will lock him up in the closet.' He laughed about that, his warm laugh always brightened up my mood. I could almost feel my eyes flicker brown again, before going blue like before.

'And you can still have the spot of godfather if you want?' He stopped walking, looking at me smiling at him.

'Really?' It was like he could have a small piece of me by making my child like him.

'Yes, I'm sure I can have my way around Draco to be sure you'll become my baby's godfather.' His grin became even wider, hugging me tight.

'You know Richard?' I had to admit it to him.

'Yes?' He looked so sad, yet he made me more happy than I could imagine myself to be.

'If this all hadn't happened, I think I would have ended up being your wife instead.' He nuzzled his face into my neck, making me smile about it. As long as we were still friends I was happy. But I really meant what I said. I wish I could swap Draco for him and my life could end like a fairytale: "And they lived happily ever after."

We went back inside and Richard went to dance with Trisha again. I was watching them when Draco's hand snaked to my arm and turned me to him. Looking up to him, I saw the mischievous look I remembered all too well. His other hand moved to the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Before he could come closer to me and try to kiss me, I turned away from him and asked Blaise to dance. He immediately went with me or he would be left with Pansy who now needed a new victim.

'Thank you.' He smiled, leading me over the floor, asking me why Draco was glaring at us.

'I left him standing there when he tried to kiss me.' Biting my lip, I saw Blaise look at me confused.

'Why did you?' I didn't do things without a good reason.

'I don't know... I just couldn't kiss him.' Blaise made me smile by pointing out Trisha trying to win Richard's heart and tripped over her dress, making Richard catch her before she would fall. He was such a gentleman. He saw us looking and smiled at me before helping Trisha to one of the chairs to the side so she could let her ankle have some rest.

'Can I cut in?' Before Blaise could say anything, Draco cut right in with a face that wasn't that playful like before.

'You know you can't escape from me.' He sounded frustrated.

'I'm sorry Draco... we just can't go back to before that easily...' He stopped dancing, squeezing my hand till it hurt without knowing he did.

'You wouldn't have obliged if I kissed you back in your room.' Recalling the feeling I felt then, it was like I had gone back into the past. Yet, it wasn't the past any more, I had moved on.

'That's different...' I laid my forehead on his chest hearing his heartbeat fasten slightly. He mostly didn't know what to do when I just required someone holding me. Draco got slightly nervous whenever I did need someone to hug me. That's why I like Richard more in that aspect... god I need to stop thinking about those sweet eyes and... shoot. Draco moved his arms lower so I needed to move both hands behind his neck. We swayed over the floor, me with my eyes closed while his were fixed on me.

'Let's get out of here.' He whispered to me, leading me back to Voldemort and his parents.

'Excuse me, my lord?' The elder man looked up from his conversation. He looked like any man could, friendly but strict.

'Yes?' His eyebrows moved down as he saw the firm grip Draco kept upon my hand, my hand was turning blue slightly.

'Would you mind if we left early?' He nodded, waving us away and continued his conversation. Putting his arm around me, Draco apperated us back to his home. We ended up falling on his bed with me on top of him.

'I like this position.' He had probably forgotten about what I said only ten minutes ago. I got off him, closing the door behind me and walking through the halls to stumble into one of the maids.

'Oh my, I'm so sorry miss.' I shrugged and helped her up.

'That's okay, my name is Helena, yours?' She looked up to me with her amber eyes which shone with hope. The Malfoys weren't pleasant people to everyone, I knew that.

'I'm Loren... Elle is it?' I hooked arms with her and dragged her along to where I was going, seeing her face torn between confusion and a smile.

'Yes, don't worry I might be Draco's fiance, but I'm not a bitch.' She smiled at that, brushing off the non-existing dust of her skirt when I decided to stand still.

'My friends are still off to the party, which they will be probably till midnight. Do you mind going swimming with me later?' She shook her head.

'I can't Elle, master Malfoy wouldn't let me neglect my duties.' It annoyed me greatly to know that they didn't allow their servants some time off when they weren't there.

'I'll leave a note that I demanded you to come swimming with me. He can't resist my charm.' Of course that last thing was a joke and I made her laugh about it too while I acted dramatic.

'But I still don't have a bikini or bathingsuit.' Recollecting my walk-in closet, I knew that wouldn't be a problem.

'You can borrow one of mine, I have too many. I can't believe they actually stuffed a whole walk-in closet full with clothing, I will only use one sixteenth of it.' She let me bring her to my room and into the closet.

'Here are we... pick one.. I take the dark blue one. There should be matching towels somewhere in here, but I guess I'm already lost... Wait, here they are.' She just stood there, I can understand she's a bit shy but Trisha or someone else would already have attacked the rack.

'I'll change in the bathroom... when I'm back I expect you to have chosen one... come on, there's a lot of suits to pick from but I do reckon you have a favorite colour?' She nodded blushing softly.

'Orange.' Considering her hair was red, I didn't think orange would suit her well, but it was her choice. Maybe it did look good and I had been putting orange clothing into the trashbin without a clear reason.

'Here's a bikini and an orange suit, pick one... a towel to match.. I'll be right back.'


	6. Affair

Chapter 6 - Affair

When I indeed came back she had gotten changed into that bathingsuit I had given her.

'You look beautiful.' She turned around blushing, her face now matched her hair.

'Thank you Elle.' She still looked a bit shy, but I think I can loosen her up a little.

'So which swimmingpool? The one with the waterfall or with the underwater cave?' It didn't really matter to me, they both held the same water temperature.

'You can pick, I don't really mind.' So she just didn't hold any confidence.

'But I want you to make the decision... that's why I asked.' She smiled and thought about it.

'The underwater cave, that way we can hide when your fiance looks for you.' We both started giggling about that and quickly made our way downstairs. I hoped we wouldn't run into Draco, this was sure going to be akward later on and of course he was going to be mad at me for running away like that.

'I'm sorry to say, but your fiance is an ass.' I could almost not keep in my laughter.

'Tell me, he's sweet when you get him alone at least when he likes you... but farther I guess he's indeed an ass.' I put my towel down on one of the reclining chairs and dove straight in. Loren waited for a moment but then jumped in bomb-style.

'Banzai!' We both laughed as she came back up and we started a watery fight.

'Elle?' Oh shit, Draco must've heard me.

'In the emergency cave!' Loren almost sounded like one of those characters I read about in those muggle comicbooks, really funny, till my father burned them. We dove under and into the cave. It was a useful thing, since you could look through the wall, making me see Draco enter the room. He looked agitated and seeing my towel and no wet footsteps he knew I was in the cave. We have been snogging here too many times to count.

'Elle, get out of there now! We need to talk!' I sighed, sitting on one of the dug out chairs.

'Are you okay?' Loren sat next to me, putting a soothing hand on my shoulder.

'He wants things to go too fast, while I want to take it slow. I guess this whole new responsibility thing makes his head spin.' Draco ended up putting on his swimming trunks and dove in to come up between my legs. He turned to see Loren sit here.

'What's a maid doing here?' He looked like he wanted to send her away, like she didn't deserve to be here because she works here.

'Her name is Loren and she's my friend Draco. I invited her.' He dropped the glare and turned to me.

'I already told you you can't escape from me and still you try.' I turned my head away as he tried to kiss me once again. When he tried to push my face back by moving my chin around, I swam away and out of the cave to head out.

'I'm sorry Loren, but I'm going back to my room. After you're done re-dressing will you come to my room?' The redhead smile to me and got herself out effortlessly.

'Sure Elle, see you later.' Loren turned and walked out of the room through the other door. Draco put his arms round my waist, pulling me into him.

'Why do you keep running?' He started kissing my neck, sucking and biting ever so often. He knew that was my soft spot, he knew that all too well.

'Draco, stop it.' Tears stung in my eyes and I tried to swat him away like an annoying bug.

'Stop what?' He tried to act innocent but failed clearly.

'Stop touching me!' I pushed him away from me and grabbed my towel as I ran back to my bedroom and locked the door...

I cried for a long time. Loren came in after a few minutes and tried to comfort me. It was becoming day already and I was still sitting in my room crying and wondering why I was. It hurt so bad and I knew who hurt me, so I didn't want him around.

'I need Richard.' Loren looked up surprised at that name.

'Who?' I shook my head, knowing she didn't meet him.

'Don't worry, he's just the only one who can always make me smile at such times. It's best if you give this note to Lucius and then head to bed.' Loren nodded, knowing that she couldn't do anything to make me cheer up. She left closing the door behind her. I went over to the fireplace first placing a note in the non-burning fire, before throwing down some floopowder and yelling the exact name of the place where Richard currently stayed in. I had done this only once before, so I didn't remember if it had to be done this way, but in this state I didn't care.

A pop was heard behind me and two arms turned me around and pressed me against Richard's warm body. He soothed me as I cried in his arms. It was only after a while when I noticed that he was crying as well. This made me stop because I didn't want him to cry.

'Richard? Why are you crying?' He wiped some of them away and looked deep into my eyes.

'Knowing I can't do anything to keep him away from you. He makes you so sad and I can't do anything about it or they will hunt me down and kill me. It's so hard to love someone and not being able to protect her... Trisha has been trying to get you off my mind all night, but I just couldn't let you go. I went home and sat there crying when I found your note. You mean the world to me Elle. I don't know if its worth anything, but I'll wait my whole life for you.' My whole heart lit up with fire, the same fire I used to feel for Draco... did my heart change love for another's love when it thought it was right? Was my heart worth believing or did I need to listen to my brain?

'Thank you.' He looked at my eyes with his tearstained red ones. His arms loosened their grip on me and he got this look in his eye. I didn't understand it, but he most certainly did. Richard came closer to me, raising one hand to my cheek. Was this what I wanted? To be with Richard and not with Draco? I was to be married off to Draco and I am about to kiss someone else, isn't that called having an affair? He kept increasing in on me and I'm not planning to do anything about it. Lifting my arms and placing my hands on the back of his head, I pushed his lips unto mine. An explosion of warmth went off inside of me and a tear slipped over my cheek. If this was heaven, I could only wonder why I hadn't died earlier.

I sighed again, remembering the mind-blowing kiss I shared with Richard. It had been magical and sweet, nothing like the forcing kisses Draco always gives. We promised each other that we might try to make this work, even if I was going to marry another guy. I felt like I could fly and when I finally head to bed, I immediately fell asleep with the most happiest smile I ever had. During my dreams I reached to the state of a nightmare, which always tries to take over my dreams. My face would be retorted in sadness and fear, I remember Trisha always trying to wake me when I was like that again. But these nightmares helped me learn about life, I needed to dream them in order to understand other people. I know it sounds weird, but that's just the way I am. I like to look at things through different perspectives, so I can understand others and not only myself.

'Elle?' I was shook awake by two icy grey eyes that stood guilty.

'What are you doing in my room?' It was a sur prise that I was able to speak well, sleeping makes my mind weary.

'I wanted to apologize, I shouldn't have been that crude to you. You know I love you right?' Oh lovely, mr horndog had a boner and needed someone to handle it. He never said such things if there wasn't a plan hiding behind it.

'Go away Draco, Im not going to blow you.' Turning around and taking along the sheet, I heard him fall on the ground.

'Fuck! You bitch!' Knew it, he was just playing one of his games.

'I just know you too well Draco Malfoy.. now leave my room!' He crawled over to me, getting rid of the blankets so he could reach me easier without risking falling off again.

'Listen to me, I didn't say that because I'm horny, I know I used to do that as a joke, but I can't help it that you always rubbed your leg against me when we were sleeping in one bed.' Turning around, I tried to get away from him. I didn't want to deal with him now, it was sleepy sleepy time, what he clearly needed to be told.

'Look Draco, I'm tired and I'm grumpy because you woke me. If you don't leave now, I will make sure you will never have any children, because I still believe the one in my belly isn't yours.' To make sure I couldn't move he sat on top of me, with one leg on each side of my hips.

'You really want to test my mood?' My voice was threatening, but so was the look on his face.

'You never listen to me! You never did when we were together some while ago. After summervacation I was trying to break up with you so I didn't had to break your heart, but you almost attacked me and made me horny. I can't stand fighting a woman when she's pleasing me you understand? I always tried to break up with you, but everytime I did try, you dragged me back in and I couldn't. The reason that I love you is because I can't stay away from you, what ever I do I always think of you. You told me you forgave me after hearing the story from my parents and still you behave so immature when I try to kiss you!' I turned my face away from him, thinking of Richard's easy ways. He would never yell at me, not even if he was angry.

'I have my reasons for being the way I am and you also have your reasons for being the way you are... probably why I don't like you any more after I found out what you're really like. I don't like this marriage and I will make sure the baby likes me more than you!' Draco looked down to my stomach, his face stood wondering as he caressed the skin and I even softened for a moment. But that could not be, if I gave in now then he would win.

'This is your last warning Draco, get off me and out of my room!' I tried to push him off and this time he gave in.

'Fine!' He swung himself off me and jumped from the bed to the door.

'And Elle, our parents are planning to place us in one room, what do you plan to do then?' I turned my back to him once again and got some hair from my face.

'I remember there's always a couch in the bedrooms...' I gave a silent hint before bringing the sheets back up and ignoring him completely. The door slammed closes and I'm sure I heard Draco yelling and cursing at everything. Then he hit his toe or something against something and started yelling and cursing some more. This of course made me laugh. And this was when I realised that I couldn't sleep any more, that damn bastard.

When I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes. I didn't feel extremely well because I didn't get much sleep after Draco left. He would be bugging me all day, I needed a plan to get out of her as soon as possible.

Of course! If I say I'm having a girls day with Trisha, I can secretly be with Richard... but then I have to tell Trisha about the whole deal too. Which means Blaise also needs to be informed... I need to message Richard about this, I thought. I lept out of bed and went to the fireplace, hoping that Richard was already awake and living. This time I didn't want to use a note, I could just head over, which would be a lot easier than wasting all that paper.

'Appartment 8c Teristan street 15.' (of course I made this up, I've never been to England =P) Turning in several fireplaces, I finally saw what I believed was Richard's appartment. To be sure I went to the bedroom to see him sleeping and almost taking up the whole bed. I took my wand and started poking him, wondering if he would attack me thinking I was some monster.

'Stop it...' He turned over, finally taking up less space. Now I could sit next to him and poke him, how fun.

'Come on Richie, don't you want a kissie kissie?' A smile appeared on his face and in his sleep he turned and hugged me.

'Richard, I'm going to take drastic meassurements!' One big poke in the stomach made him double over and gasp for air, before glaring at me. His glare immediately faded upon seeing me. He brought my face to his, kissing me tenderly on the lips.

'Why are you here?' I didn't feel like teasing him at the moment, so it was better to tell him straight away.

'I think I've found out a way of us being together, but then Blaise and Trisha also need to be informed.' He pushed me between his legs, so I was facing a blank wall and he was facing the back of my head. He was twirling some locks of mine between his fingers, before starting to kiss my neck. Richard sure knew how to make a lady love him.

'Richard...' I just couldn't be annoyed with him.

'Yes?' He was smirking, I knew he was teasing me while I was being serious... how cute.

I was changing into some normal clothes, pulling on a dress and twirling around while giggling about it. I don't know why though.

'You look good today.' Turning around with a glare, I saw Draco checking me out.

'Ever heard of knocking?' He came closer, pressing me up against him and just assumed that I wouldn't mind kissing him. But he was so wrong. Pushing him away from me, I slapped him and took the matching purse I had left laying on my bed.

'Where are you going?' Draco wasn't pleased to see that I went out like that.

'I'm having a girls day with Trisha, don't worry I'll be back for dinner.' I waved at him coldly and wanted to walk to the fireplace when he stopped me.

'I'm not letting you go when you're dressed like that.' A glare stood upon my features, till I decided that he was being stupid.

'What? Afraid that I'll go to a stripclub?' He glared, taking one of my hands and hurting me without knowing it. I wasn't going to let him know that he could easily hurt me, if I did then he would take that as an advantage so I would have no choice but listen to him. But then he suddenly dropped my arm and walked over to the door, without saying a thing. That was before he turned around with a smirk.

'Have fun... I most certainly will.' This meant nothing else but that he was having a girl over and he was going to fuck her. But this meant nothing to me, I had Richard and Draco didn't know about it. At least I wasn't hurting him by telling it straight to his face.

'Oh don't worry, I'm sure that girl will make you moan... my name.' I stuck out my tongue at him in a childish fashion before using the fireplace to go to Trisha. Draco just stood in the dooropening, knowing that I was right, he was going to use the same old trick he used on.. what's her name? That girl that the dark lord wanted him to marry first... no, rings no bells. She wasn't as good as me either, he knew that. Slamming the door shut behind him, he planned on cancelling that girl, which he didn't know the name of, coming over. He wanted to talk things out with Blaise, he always listened to him no matter how angry he was with him.

After arriving at Trisha's house, I said hello to her and she moved me to the livingroom where breakfast was spread on the table. Richard came over with some more food with an apron in front of his outfit.

'So after breakfast you can leave, you look anorexic.' Trisha pushed me down, giving me a bearhug before taking a glass of fresh orange juice. I also started eating, I hadn't eaten all morning and it was taking the best of me. Richard took a seat on my left after removing his apron, swinging an arm round my waist and placing a kiss on my cheek.

'Stop being so cute.' Trisha threw a muffin at his face, which I caught.

'That's a waste of good food.' Both laughed about my little joke, before I tried to stuff Richard with the muffin.

'Hey hey! That's two against one, no fair!' I laughed, finally finishing pushing the whole muffin in his mouth.

'Don't worry, you have a big enough mouth for it.' I bit off a piece of toast and drank some orange juice.

'I'm sure you have too, come here!' I tried to keep away from him, but he was standing near the food, so eventually he got me back.

Blaise was wondering why Draco wanted to talk to him again, it had been some while since the other conversation where Draco confessed what had happened. Before that they talked every night about everything and nothing. You could state that they were best friends, that was until Draco broke Helena's heart at least.

'So what do you want to talk about?' Straight to the point, that was the best thing you could do when handling with this arrogant git that didn't believe in emotions.

'You know _whom_ I want to talk about... she doesn't even want me around her, while she told me that she had forgiven me.' Blaise knew that Draco didn't understand what forgiveness meant. Two best friends could forgive each other about having fought about a girl, but they will never be as good friends again as before.

'You need to give that girl some time and don't go off with other girls because you think she can't offer you anything. She is worth the wait, you know that as good as I do.' Draco sighed, this subject was really troubling him.

'When I told her that I loved her, she thought it was a way for me to get her into bed with me.' Blaise now understood what this was about, now Draco could be with her with Voldemort's permission, he wanted to make it work. She however had moved on, he had seen the way she looked at Richard. Draco caused to much drama for her.

'You never told her that unless it was a joke, I remember you laughing about that fact with me a lot.' Blaise shifted in his seat, drinking some coffee that Draco had given him.

'But I really did love her, I still do.' For Draco it felt like his heart was almost bursting out of his chest.

'She doesn't love you anymore mate, is that the problem?' Blaise knew that, that was the problem, yet didn't want to tell that straight away. You always need to soften things around Draco or he might get angry with you instead.

Draco looked up at Blaise's eyes, knowing he was right.

'It just can't be that you can fall out of love, right?' The doubt in his voice gave him away.

'But it can Draco. She already did.' Draco burst out into tears, for probably the first time in his life he didn't mind chosing his pain. Now he let it out, it had to come out, all of it.


	7. Peanutbrain

Chapter 7 - Peanutbrain

Waking up in my own bed with birds happily chirping outside and the sun shining in my eyes, I noticed someone standing in the shadows. I held my head crooked wondering who it was. Draco came walking out of the shadows with a glare on his face. My face still hadn't taken a form of emotion on it.

'Good morning Draco.' He kept coming closer, walking over to my side of the bed and taking my chin in his hand roughly. He tilted my head to the other side and I'm sure he saw the hickey I told Richard not to make.

'Girls day, huh? Why am I not suprised that you went to that bastard.' Fury raged through my body as I ripped my head from his grip.

'He's not a bastard, you must be talking about yourself!' He threw his hands into the air in rage.

'Because I tried to make our relationship work? Because I didn't cheat on you the moment I heard we got engaged? I even went to talk to Blaise, while he hates me! He told me that you fell out of love with me. And this is a clear evidence that I'm not a bastard, you're just a bitch!' This hurt me, even though it came out of his mouth.

'Leave my room, Malfoy.' The glare on my face didn't keep me from letting the tears fall from my eyes.

'What? You think you have control over me? Let's say this, when I tell my father you went to that scumbag instead of talking things out with me, you'll be in big trouble.' My eyes softened hearing that, I didn't want Lucius and Narcissa to know about this.

'Please don't tell them.' He knew that they were my weak spot, he knew how much I cared for them.

'Then you'll just have to listen to me. 1. You're going to break of that silly thing you call a relationship with Richard. 2. Are grounded for the rest of the week, which includes no guests over. And 3. You sleep in the same bed as I, so I know you don't try to cheat on me again.' Tears flowed from my cheeks and I angrily agreed with his proposals.

'I'll see you in my room then, within the hour if its possible.' He left with the same angry look as with which he entered, I only felt worse about myself. I felt like a slut.

The note I just sent to Richard was sweet and apologizing, I hope he understands what the Malfoys mean to me, excluding Draco. When I walked into my closet, I saw clothes being transported by a maid I didn't know, who smiled at me. One of the few things remaining was a pair of ripped jeans and a black tanktop that I took from the topshelf. Draco shouldn't expect me to wear designer clothing when I have comfortable jeans available. I walked inside the bathroom, happy to see that this room was still intact. I took a quick shower, not bothering to smell sweet or exotic, Draco had to do it with my sportshampoo and its evergreen scent. After pulling on the pair of comfy clothing, I decided that I might as well just walk on my bare feet, not like I would catch a cold in Draco's room. His floor even had heating, which was just another of his stupid ideas.

'Knock knock.' Knowing Draco would be even more pissed with me if I didn't knock, which I still didn't, I wanted to joke around and see the results. He was adjusting his black button-up shirt when he saw me walk in and rose his eyebrows at my pants.

'You didn't say formal occassion.' I rolled my eyes and sat on his bed with my head resting on my hands. To simply say it, I was already bored and I didn't know what he had up his sleeve now.

'Dont look so smug, I didn't do anything bad to you.' Rolling my eyes, I decided to go back to ignoring him.

'Yet.' He gave me a small glare for saying that but let it lay aside. He sat behind me, moving my hair at the side so he could give me a massage. In the past I would've liked it and just hung on his body, but now I was being stubborn and kept sitting there. I must say though, his hands still know how to make me relax.

'I know I've been stupid, acting like that, but I'm a guy what can you expect?' This was the lamest excuse ever, I crawled away from him and just stared at him. What had I found so addictive before that I gave my body to him at least once a day. He was muscled and skinny, a good combination if you weren't too muscled. He knew how to dress himself, his half-wet hair hanged slightly in front of his icy grey eyes, which any other girl would've found attractive, if she didn't know the things I knew about him. No, not attractive at all. He just sat there too, wondering why I was glaring at him and not even looking away for a second or two to think. Tears began to fall again but I just sat there watching him. Draco wanted to say something, but he saw in my gaze that I wasn't waiting on a conversation. I don't want to fall to pieces in front of him, just sit and stare at him, tears rolling even faster than first and he better not try to talk to me. I don't want to talk about it.

I was grounded, how childish. Not leaving the room under any circumstances and just sit there in case he might find it funny to throw me off the balcony if I moved. Draco had been whining after a full half hour of my staringcontest. Okay, he had lost it the first minute, but the real thing started only after a half hour. I knew that I would never get over him, I don't know why I took Richard as my rebound, it was a stupid idea. I would never be able to love again, feel happy or kiss someone and mean it.

'Come back here.' He patted the space in front of him, he said he wanted to continue my massage, but I'm a stubborn bitch. Why do you think I was in Gryffindor back at Hogwarts? To think of it, I think I might find a job there, though Draco would be whining again. I don't really care about that, Hogwarts was my home, no matter how I felt. At any other place I could just commit suicide, just like that.

'Can I be excused?' I was going to be so polite that he was going to wish that I was back to the bitch I originally am.

'What?' I rolled my eyes again, agitating him.

'I need to pee, peanutbrain.' Forget about it, he was too stupid to handle. But it was funny how he was trying to keep all the anger in and not laugh at the same time because of how stupid that sounded.

'Just go.' I stood up, stuck out my tongue at him and went in search for the bathroom. He had a whole appartment to himself, no wonder Blaise claimed that Draco could survive in here.

'I can't find your bathroom.' He errupted from the shadows, like he had been following me.

'I thought you wouldn't, it's right here.' He opened the door, walking to the toilet so he could fix his own problem, not that I want to see that. I rolled my eyes and turned around, I wasn't going to run out of here, I wasn't that childish you know... Okay I am, but he doesn't have to know! I leant on the wall, hearing him finally flushing the toilet. I heard water streaming so I peaked to see that he was undressing himself to go into the shower. He had time for that while I was busy and still he picks a moment like this to shower. Do I need to remind you that he believes that a shower shouldn't have a showercurtain or a wall to make sure others wouldn't see you? No, he had a glass wall and I could see him naked if I wanted. If I wanted. Which I don't. He was aiming at me to stare at him, to act like one of his whores and just jump in with him. No way, I'm not a whore... though he made me feel that way back in my room. I heard him shut the door of the shower, now I was save to pee without him pulling me in with him, while I was still wearing clothes. He believed that it was funny to do that to people, I've been a victim of that little joke far too many times.

Why was his hair half-wet back when I entered his room? He had probably showered... then why did he do it again in front of me? Don't ask me, I'm just a silly girl which is playing a game called "ignore peanutbrain". Yes that's my new nickname for him and he didn't like it any more after I called him that while pointing at his dick. Guys do think with their dicks... it's a very easy thing to understand. When you have guys, you have a penis and a brain, but they both need blood and the heart can't give both blood at the same time. Guys almost never use their brains... unless they've been castrated. Ouch.

'Stop ignoring me.' I was tapping my knees in a certain rhythm that came to mind.

'....' He growled playfully and before I knew it he was straddling me and holding my hands above my head. I turned my face away when he tried to press his lips on mine, but he knew better than to give up. He started kissing up my neck, to my jawline and hoped to kiss me on the lips before I turned my face away again. I'm always in on his games, so I turned him over and saw him smirking up at me. He thought he had won, but I'm strong and I won't give up easily to an arrogant bastard. I rolled away from him and stepped off the bed to sit in front of it on the ground.

'You ruined the fun we could've had.' He started playing with my hair and then put his arms over my shoulder, sliding off the bed himself to end up right behind me. He got what he wanted first, he was able to go back at massaging me.

'....' I went back at tapping my knees.

'And I'm still going to play with you, even when you ignore me.' I started relaxing and felt myself give in and fall into him. Those massages always helped me back up after a stressful period. When I fell against his chest, he stopped massaging me and just placed his arms around my waist.

'It doesn't feel right when you're not with me you know?' It almost sounded like he had emotions, which I didn't believe for one second.

'.....' My mouth was aching to speak but I refused to give up. Draco put his head on my shoulder and looked at my face. I was just looking at the floor, thinking. He took my shins in his hands and brought me back to a little ball that he could lift so we would be back up the bed. There he sat against the headboard and just let his fingers slide through my soft, long, brown hair. I guess he won this time, but not me. I wasn't a trophy taken but won. That's what he needed to do, his best to win me once again. I didn't want him to... I wanted Richard.

'How long do you think you can stay mad at me?' Cat got your tongue? Ask an annoying question, he knew me too well.

'As long as I want.' I knew he was smirking, he was smirking in victory because he got me to talk to him.

'And I'm going to make you feel as miserable as you made me feel.' I tried to get up, but he pulled me back, snaking his hands back around my waist.

'Where do you think of going?' I growled at him dangerously.

'I'm hungry, I need food to live you know.' He took my hand, letting me get up but not without him. Without letting go of my hand, he guided my down and to think that I already know the road downwards.

'So I guess I'm not going to be able to go somewhere off alone?' I tried to pull my hand from his grip, but it didn't work that well.

'No.' Groaning I let him slur me along.

'Could you pass me the butter, peanutbrain?' I pointed at it and saw him glare at me.

'If you stop calling me that.' I shrugged casually.

'Sure, bastard.' He squeezed my hand slightly, warning me that I would be hurt if I continued this.

'Butter please.' He shoved the butter to my side, where I put it on my toast. I wasn't feeling that hungry, but I needed to eat enough to soothe my stomach. It has been angry at me for a while, cause I keep forgetting to eat all the time. If Richard and Trisha hadn't pushed me into eating something, I might've forgotten all about it.

'Orange juice?' He held a glass of orange juice in front of my face which I took, why not. It was that or drinking water. In the morning I prefer not to drink anything warm and when I drink milk I feel sick. Maybe I should use that to make him feel miserable. But I know that he knows that I can't stand milk, so I'm not able to try it... Thinking of feeling sick remembered me of my morning sickness, had it just stopped like that? It was a bit strange.

'Done? Good.' With his wand in his right hand he made his and my food float in the air, while pulling me to the livingroom with his left hand.

Draco was still in the dressingrooms changing to his swimmingtrunks. I was already swimming around slowly, happy that I finally got to do something without his hand leading me to him. If it had been a year ago, I wouldn't have thought of it and just followed him. I was a stupd ditz back there... I heard Draco get in with a splash, before he surfaced right in front of me.

'Going anywhere?' He took my waist and brought me to the cave I and Loren had been hiding for him before. He brought us in the same situation as back then, except that Loren wasn't here today. To think of it I haven't seen her at all.

'What happened to Loren?' He tried to ignore my question, but saw I was determined to know.

'My father fired her after she accidently tried to clean one of his painting with a wet cloth. She's from France, did you know? This was her first job and she ruined it.' I smirked, hoping that Loren ended up with a better family.

'At least she learned not to clean a painting with something wet.' He was snaking his hands up from the outside of my legs. I quickly slapped them away, I didn't want him doing that to me. I didn't want to fall into him again. I already had a first strike, when it reaches three, I'm out.

'Why do you keep pushing me away? You know you want me.' He tried again and again, till I didn't hit him any more any time he tried.

'See, you're already giving in to me. Why fight if you know you can't win?' My mind went back to Richard, was he alright?

'Because I have a reason to fight and I can win.' I pushed him away from me totally and started to swim out of the cave. I knew he would be following me soon, thinking this was all just a little game of mine, but it really wasn't. I wanted to keep it out a whole lot longer before my body would be his again. The second strike can't be until a few months from the first. I'm not going to let him win this.

The following months he kept trying, while I kept hitting him for touching me. Sometimes at dinner his parents would ask why he was all bruised, but he wouldn't say a thing. I just sat there with a grim face, smiling when Lucius or Narcissa talked to me. My stomach started to grow somewhat, the healer said I was okay and that the girl forming herself in my belly was very healthy. Still 22 weeks to go till she was going to be born and I already felt like a balloon. Still I really wanted to have her and Draco's hands could never get too close before I turned away from him. The pregnancy made my body make more hormones, making me even more bi-polar than before. Draco got a good portion of it every day, still he didn't give up on me. It was so strange, it almost looked like he cared for me...

'Caroline?' I shook my head.

'No, no, no.' We... I was deciding on a name and Draco felt like he could interfere me with it.

'Then you suggest something...' He was signing some forms that servants came to bring. In a week our wedding would be and everything was getting hectic and stressed out. Narcissa tried to help out a bit too much, which ended up in me taking it all over from her. There was one thing she was helping me with though, today we would be going to Twillfit and Tattings to get my weddingdress made. She firstly proposed that we should go to one of those bridal shops, but I want a handmade dress, one that no one will ever wear except me... or my daughter if she likes it when she grows up. Then you had Draco bugging me with the colors, he wanted it dark, black and green. But I always refused when he came up with those two colors. After two months we've finally decided on red and white. Red because that what he got to choose from the light colors and white because I actually begged him for it.

'Well?' And now I was going to let him help to pick a name for _our_ girl. I agreed on that only a few days ago when he was being a gentleman, I don't know where that came from. He took me out for dinner in a romantic place, I'm against romance but this was really sweet. There was a man planning on the piano and his wife standing next to him with a violin in her hands. They played some songs I remembered from my past and was surprised to know that Draco chose to remember those things. After dinner he took me to Venice, where we had a lovely gondola-ride and he proposed to me in a way he thought of more appropriate. I don't have a choice, I have to marry him anyway, but if I wanted to have someone propose to me, it would've been that way. The traditional on your knee proposal with a large crowd to clap and make me blush. I know, dramatic. But it's just something you only see in dreams or in books and it happened to me for real.

'Torrez then?' My mouth stood agape in shock.

'She's not a Spanish bull.' I know that was a bit harsh, but I was thinking and he was disrupting my thoughts.

'I think it should be Naomi.' Draco turned around with a small smile. He agreed with me, something we agreed on in a long time and then he has to smile like that. He sat next to me laying his hand on my belly and watching it rise slightly.

'I can't wait to see her.' And then he had to go all cute on me and say something like that. His head turned to me, kissing me on the lips softly before putting his arm around me and laying his head on mine. If Narcissa came in now she would squeal, drop everything in her hands and then run away to tell Lucius about it. Let's hope she doesn't barge in now. I was having a weak moment.


	8. Act Like You Mean It

Chapter 8 – Act like you mean it

Narcissa came to retrieve me to go shopping.

'I found this amazing spell that can make it look like youre not pregnant at all, except the radiant that just shines off you. All mothers have that and make them look absolutely beautiful. I think that if they had a spell for that, I would refuse to use it.'

I smiled, letting her apperate us away. These days I was a bit disoriented and it was best that I didnt try to apperate anywhere alone. I would get lost.

'Narcissa! And this must be the happy lady. We are so happy that youre going to let us make the dress for you.'

I blushed, letting them pull me along to the back. Hearing someone apperate behind me I saw Draco with Lucius, his father must help him with the suit. I giggled seeing him looking at me suprised. Narcissa explained it to them, before following me into the totally empty room.

'What color did you have in mind my dear?'

'White going very light blue.'

'Skin-tight at the waist and above?'

'Yes and strapless.'

I kept giving them instructions while they meassured my sizes after Narcissa used the spell on me. Twillfit got out her wand and used a spell to show me how the dress would look like when they were done. There would be diamonds around the top and at the points where they indicated that my waist was. Also they promised me that they would make me a diamond necklace to fit the dress and the ring I had from Draco. He had forseen that we couldnt get Voldemorts ring off to slip it back on during the ceremony and with the dark lords permission he got to buy a new ring that would be slipped on my right hands fourth finger. The dark lord moved the other ring to my lefts hand fourth finger. That way people would see that the dark lord caused the marriage and that I was accepted to be the mother of his heir. This all sounds a bit troubling in my ears and I dont want to think about that while shopping.

'Now to get some sexy lingerie for the weddingnight.'

I started blushing as Narcissa took me into a shop full with sexy lingerie. The spell still hid my belly but I couldnt imagine myself wearing lace to seduce Draco, who would jump into bed with me even when I wore oversized clothing. To think of it, I still havent had sex with him since I made that promise to myself that I wouldnt let myself get concurred that easy. Now I would be forced to, and I will have to like it as well. I wanted to bang my head on one of the walls, stopping myself when I saw Draco and Lucius also entering the store.

'No, no, no!'

I shook my head at them, but Draco just smirked, putting his hands around my tiny waist. He could now just put them around it, while with the belly he would have to stretch his hands at least to three times their own size. That makes a difference doesnt it?

'So... Im getting a little suprise at our weddingnight?'

'No.'

'Yes! Look Elle, I believe even you like this.'

I groaned and shook my head at Narcissa.

'I really, really, REALLY, dont want this.'

'But its tradition.'

Narcissa let her arms fall down in fake-sadness, but she got me with those puppy dog eyes.

'Alright alright, but Im not doing it for Draco.'

'Ill still like it.'

'Just... OUT!'

He quickly scurried away with his father, blowing me a kiss which I tried to evade by jumping aside and stucking my tongue out at him. Im as childish as there can be, Im only eighteen years old after all... and so is Draco. He was seen as the youngest kid at Hogwarts, but they never took a look in my records, my birthday is exactly one day after his. Which is like deathly if you know Draco. He likes having a 48 hour party, which I dont.

Draco and I were sightseeing for different reasons than you might think. We still need a spot where our commitment would be, then a huge ballroom for the afterparty. Draco wanted to go to France, Greece or Italy. I prefered to go to Ireland, Wales or Scottland, where I wanted to have my wedding in the raw nature. Draco didnt want the music artists I wanted to hire either, because they didnt play the kind he liked; clubmusic. He was acting like such a child, like the wedding was just another party, while he made such humbug around the actual proposal.

'Draco, could you leave me alone for a moment?'

'Why?'

'Because you cant handle this thats why! You think this is all a joke, laugh at me when I cry because you insulted me once again and think its normal to have rappers at a wedding!?'

He looked at me strangely, reaching out his hand to touch me, but I ran away from him with tears streaming down my cheeks like every day. It almost was like he couldnt help but insult me, or I would get too close to the actual Draco he really was, a broken soul.

'Oh deary, come here. What did he do now?'

Narcissa took care of me whenever I cried, she had told me that Lucius had been the same way in the beginning. It became even worse when he noticed that Draco was a real whore back at Hogwarts, which was why he was so happy to know he finally had a igirlfriend/i which he dared to bring home. After Voldemort told him to make sure that igirl/i liked Draco enough to marry him, he cried himself. This somehow made me smile, to know that he really cared for me and did have a soul. A broken one at that, but he had one too. Narcissa knew that I wouldnt be able to live with Draco if he wouldnt let me get close to him, see whats behind those curtains of insults. Whenever I thought he had used every possible one on me, he would think of a new one.

'Elle?'

And every time I ran away to cry out with his mom he would follow me and apologize. It meant nothing to him those apologizes, and I never forgave him either. Not even saying I did.

'Leave me alone...'

I whiped away the tears, letting go of Narcissa and turning my back on Draco.

'Come on Elle, you know I never mean it when...'

'When what Draco? When you shut me out again because you think I cant handle your personal or emotional problems? You drive me away because of that and still you keep saying that you wouldnt be able to live without me. Well I am giving you a choice Draco, live with them and share them with me...... or live alone and hate yourself for it.'

Draco hadnt given me an answer yet, I was currently too emotional to face him anyway. He let me take care of the wedding, saying that he indeed was a bit too childish too take care of that. After he said that he locked himself up in his room. I always see it like that when I dont get an answer, they agree with me, but I wont tell you what Im planning yet. As long as Naomi gets a better future than I, I will be happy enough to smile.

'I think we should take red and white roses, to match the rest of the furniture and hangings.'

Narcissa was pointing out some last minute changes, Draco first had chosen ice blue roses, because he heard from his mother that that kind of color was the color of my dress. It was the only thing that had mattered to him in a serious way.

'No, leave them ice blue.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, we dont want people to say thats a boring setting.'

'Have you decided on a place yet?'

My mind wandered through all the places me and Draco had been to, he had been right at one thing, Greece was beautiful. And the first place he had chosen, which he thought I would find boring, was a gorgeous ancient setting with a white garden chapel we could fit beneath with the villages priest.

'Greece, that island named Crete. The first setting Draco chose, the one at the southern village.'

'Yes, that was a beautiful place wasnt it? It amazed me that Draco could pick such a sight freely.'

I giggled at her innocent look, knowing she had something to do with it.

'Then we could make a linkingportal so all our guests will be able to go to the hotel in Hania.'

She wrote all the information down before clapping her hands so one of the servants could take it to the experts they hired. I still couldnt believe that they took all the costs on them, without them I wouldnt be able to have this whole wedding. Draco and I probably wouldve gone to a church, demanded the priest to wed us off and then head to our new home. No money attached. But his parents wanted to make a great feast out of it.

Voldemort arrived a day before the actual wedding, expecting me in his room for a small talk. I was walking from my own room to his, because Draco still refused to get out of his room. I wonder what is holding him there.

'Come in.'

I didnt even have to knock, this same gift was shared by Dumbledore, they leave me to wonder if they are family somewhere in the furtest history.... or something like that. Im rambling now because Im nervous to be in front of such an important man, what if he suddenly decided to hurt or kill me?

'I believe your and Dracos relationship isnt going to well?'

'Hes locked himself up in his room because I told him not to insult me anymore. Further I dont know myself.'

He nodded, turning the chair to meet my eyes.

'Take a seat, I need to have a chat with you about that.'

I quickly sat down in the chair across of him and took the cup of tea he handed me. If he wasnt such a dangerous man, he couldve been my grandfather... just figurative not literally.

'I wanted to warn you that once you and Draco get married, youll be have to be dependent on him. You cant just do want you want and thats also how your daughter will be raised. He will be your boss and theres nothing you can do about it.'

I focussed my eyes on the teacup, trying not to break out in fury, what did he think? Yes, he could be one of the most dangerous people alive but you just cant command someone to throw his whole life, personality and above all love aside. She wouldnt be able to protect her daughter just because he said so and thats something thats not going to happen.

'Whats going to be her name, have you decided on that yet?'

'Naomi.'

I went in search for Draco, while his door had been locked, he himself wasnt there. I had been knocking on his door for what seemed for hours till I used a spell and blast it to small pieces. I wanted to have a talk with him about Voldemort just told me, was this what he had been keeping from me? Did he knew that he could not show any love to me, could do to me whatever he wanted or desired?

'DRACO?!'

If I didnt find him within the next few hours, I would blow the whole house up... this time I meant something literally, so you better run already.

'Yes?'

Or not. He came down with a superior face, looking down on me arrogantly. What had happened to him, what had he done up there?

'Why didnt you tell me? Why did _he_ had to do it and why did you lock yourself up here?!'

Without him wanting to I smashed him into the wall, he could see my murderous intent and was about to keep me from going upstairs, when I noticed something strange. He was never this cold with me, except this one time when he had been doing that girl because of Voldemort.

I threw him aside, heard him fall on the floor, but kept going till I saw what angered me the most. The same girl as before and still I didnt know her name. My whole life was ruined. He claimed he didnt cheat on me, he had been lying to me, again. Tears streamed down my face for the second time that day and I ran away from that naked slut and what was supposed to be my husband tomorrow.

'Helena! Dont you dare run away!'

And he dared to command me as well.... what had happened to him?

'Dont you dare command me Malfoy! I HATE YOU!'

I smashed my door closed as I sat on my bed and left a note in the fireplace. Please Trisha, please be home.

That this all had to happen on the day before my wedding. Trisha tried to sooth me, tried to get that arrogant bastard from my mind. But nothing she did, nothing she was able to do would get that look that had been in his eyes out of my mind. That superior look that I had grown to hate from the moment I met him. That look he had gotten rid off after the ball where he had grown to like me. I felt dehydrated with all the tears shed only in these three months that he had tortured me.

'Do you want me to get you something?'

I first kept shooking my head, till I grew silent and looked up to her with my tearstained face.

'Please get me Richard.'

She gave a half smile and disapperated at the same moment, leaving a shade of her frame. The next moment Richard stood for me with pity in his eyes. His arms were around my tiny body, even with the extra hunger from the pregnancy I didnt eat a lot. Just enough to make sure that Naomi would be healthy. He rocked me backwards and forth just long enough to make me stop sobbing.

'Hes not worth it Elle, hes not worth the tears shed.'

I knew I wasnt crying for that, but he didnt.

'Im not crying because of him Richard. Im crying because Im going to marry that damn bastard, having to raise my dear child near him and his wicked mind and above all Im crying because I will have to obey him on every command once Im married to him.'

Richard rose his head from the top of my head and rose my own to meet him in the eye.

'Dont forget you can always come to me, we can run away together. I know its not a perfect life, not the one youve always dreamed to have, but at least you wont be near him.'

'First I want to settle some things and get that stupid wedding over with. They will even be more dangerous if I dont go through with this wedding.... Rick?'

'Yes?'

'Please kiss me.'

I was getting dressed into my weddingdress, even though I liked it, I didnt think it was going to be a good day for me. The only few lightbulbs in my life ( yes I said lightbulbs, any objections?) were Trisha, Blaise, Richard and Naomi. Maybe this dress too and the necklace I still had from my grandmother. I never thought about her, but thats because she died before I was even born. I do have a necklace from her that I will put around Naomis neck when shes old enough. She will get it on her eighth birthday, whether Im still around or not.

'Are you almost ready, Elle? The guests are already streaming in.'

'They wont start without me will they?'

Narcissa laughed about that, helping me with my hair. I had darkened it and curled from just above my ears till the bottom. With the dark red lipstick I knew I looked perfect. I had a bouquet of bloodred and icy blue roses in my hands. My wedding, it was supposed to be special, to be the one thing in my life I would look back on with a smile. But I was going to ruin it if Draco even dared to command me anything. The weddingnight was off, I had special plans with Richard for that. Draco would never lay his hands on Naomi, not even in his nightmare where she would be the one to finish him off for me.

'Ready?'

'Will I ever be?'

My father entered the room, he was going to be the one who will be leading me down to the isle (of doom) anyway.

'Come on princess, smile.'

He stook out his arm, which I took with a fake smile burning on my face. Imagining the plan I had developed with Richard I immediately felt better and the fake turned into a real smile. The dark red curtains were moved aside as my father and I walked out towards the isle. There stood Draco, with a smirk on his face and his eyes as cold as ice. I heard people amongst the crowd gasp and tell others how beautiful I was. I knew that as well, my eyes wandered to the side where my guests sat and there was he. Richard Livas, the man that made my heart bleed whenever he cried. He smiled at me, he was probably as excited as I was about this whole thing. I felt my fathers arm leave me and instead Draco took my hand in one of his deathly grips, almost warning me not to say no. His eyes glared at me, but to the crowd he just looked like he was a loving fiance that I should love a great deal. But theres always a person that needs to act and today, theres at least two.


	9. I Love You

Chapter 9 – I love you

The feast was a great success and I was soon with Trishas help out of Dracos sight.

'Please tell me where you are when you both get there will you?'

This conversation seemed rather innocent but Trisha was helping me and Richard out with our plan. I already informed Dumbledore, who would be pleased to help me and Richard take cover, he would also be able to get that ring from Voldemort from my finger. Dracos ring I would just throw over my right shoulder like it was a vile of salt.

'Of course I will. Naomi also needs a godmother you know.'

She smiled broadly hugging me, before putting a clip in my hair. It was practically invisible to the eye, unless you knew it was there. Round midnight when the feast would be over, Trisha will make sure I and Richard get outside alone and the clip will lead us to Dumbledore. Its a portkey.

'I hope you will be happy. You look gorgeous by the way, nice dress.'

'I let it made at Twillfit and Tattings, totally my choice. I think Im keeping my hair this dark as well, what do you think?'

'I think you should indeed keep it this dark, but I think straight hair looks better with your type of face.'

'Chatting up are we?'

Draco came out from the shadows, shooing Trisha away so he could be alone with me. He raised my chin so I would look at him, a glare stood on his face.

'From now on I hold control and I dont want to hear a simple no, understood?'

I remembered the second part of Voldemorts little chat, it was something to remember.

'Why did you ask the lord to change it from that whore you like to fuck to me?'

He hit me, my cheek feeling sore already. That was before he pulled my face back at him.

'You never call her that again, do you hear me? She was just a temporal solution for my sexual frustration. Do you know how hard it is to have a beautiful girl at your hands and she refuses to have sex with you let stand kiss you? I needed some sex and she was in reach. If you deprive me from my sexual needs in the future, you can expect her to come by maybe weekly, monthly and if youre playing stiff as a board, then she will probably come back daily.'

Everything in me said that I should hit him for saying that, but he was not the one I needed to punish, he would already be punished tonight. Because I heard from Voldemort that Draco practically begged for me to be his wife and that he gave up his emotions so I would be able to stay at his side. This leaves me confused, would you not be? But I made my decision a long time ago, when Richard kissed me for the first time. Noone would be able to live with someone who is completely emotionless and thats why I had a second reason to leave without turning back or just turning my head back. Doubts arent for the strong and I didnt have any.

It was almost time, Trisha made a diversion so Richard and I could head outside with just the two of us. She would apperate away once they knew that I was gone, she would apperate to Hogsmeade where she would be expected by Hagrid. He would bring her to the same place where I and Richard would be going first. The headquarters of the Order Of The Phoenix, the home of Sirius Black. I never believed in his guilt, but did believe in his innocence. I wasnt a person to live in complete darkness, like so many people I knew. Blaise would also flee, he didnt saw a reason anymother either to stay among those kind of people. He is probably already there waiting on Trisha to show up.

'This is it then, no crawling back.'

Richard put his arms around me and put his lips on me the moment the portkey started working. Normally I hated the feeling a portkey gave me, but this time it was rather pleasant.

'Look how cute they are!'

I heard a girl of my age squeal. Looking towards the large group of people, I saw the Golden Trio, the three people which had stood in the centre of mine and Trishas pranking. I wouldve thought they would be outraged to see me here, but I guess Dumbledore explained everything to them.

'Welcome to the brighter side of life.'

Harry Potter stook out his hand for me to shake, which I gladly did. I was happy to finally get rid of all those memories I shared with everone who was still at the dark side.

'I think these two need some sleep, you guys look tired. Im Sirius Black, as you mightve guessed. You two can stay as long as you wish, enough rooms to spare here.'

I smiled at him and somehow had the urge to hug him, which I also did. When I let go he smiled at me, guiding both me and Richard to our room. Back in what I assumed was the livingroom I heard two people arrive also, my two other best friends. They were also happily greeted, but I heard the same thing Hermoine Granger said when Richard and I came there. I told both Sirius and Richard to wait and went back down to see Blaise and Trisha still liplocked.

'I knew it!'

She stopped immediately, blushing. Then she pointed at him.

'He started it.'

And of course we all were still as childish as before. Blaise just smirked seductively at her, making her blush spread over her whole face. I had seen how much Blaise liked Trisha before, but I guess I forgot to mention it.

'Come to bed love.'

I had put my weddingdress in a box after washing it three times to be sure that Malfoys germs were not on it anymore. I wouldnt want anyone who would find it to turn evil because they came in contact with his bacteria.

'One moment.'

Dumbledore had been here a few moments ago, taking both rings that first had been on my hands. I had gotten a new one from Richard, he had planned that. I put it on my engagementfinger, (left hand fourth finger) and then put on my grandmothers necklace. Further I was still butt-naked, but Richard didnt mind. He put his arms round my waist, pulling me on the bed, making me squeal because of the throw. He started kissing me on the lips, trailing down to my neck, where he made a lot of hickeys. All I could do was moan and relax beneath his touch......

When we awoke the next morning, I noticed how cute Richard was when he was still asleep. I softly stroked his cheek, moving a lock of hair out of his face. He claimed yesterday that he would cut his hair when he got older, which meant that it had to wait for quite a while. He softly nibbled on my finger as I trailed his lips. Then led his to mine and guided his tongue to move with mine. His hands traced my sides, moving my legs so he could lay between them. We repeated last nights ritual but then a lot more quiet and sensual instead of just... yeah sex.

'Richard...'

He put his lips on mine to silence my moans as I came. We kept laying there for quite a while till we felt like we really had to get up now. The sun was crawling up to heaven with a slow pace, it should be somewhere round eleven oclock. In the hallway it sounded like there had a bomb exploded inside everyones room, I guess they were pushing their ways into the few bathrooms which this home had. I prefered to smell like sex, why not? At least people wouldnt ask how I had slept. I put on some jeans I found on the chair laid out for me, together with a big soft sweater. I ripped the jeans somewhat, it was more comfortable though I dont know why. Richard had been watching me get dressed with his angeletic features shining brightly on his face. A smirk appeared on his lips as he drew closer to me.

'You know whats so good about those clothes?'

'No?'

'You can pull them right off again....'

It was lunchtime and I had finally managed to escape from Richards hands which tried to pull me back to bed everytime I got dressed. I still hadnt taken a shower, why would I? I could do that later when the showers werent that crowded.

'You look....'

Hermoine tried to say something about my sex-hair, but decided against it.

'Like I had great sex? You can say that, Richards probably still in the room waiting for me to come get him... he keeps pulling me to him I cant help it.'

Hermoine now shone a bright red, walking out of the room. I just smirked, getting myself some toast and juice. Richard entered an half hour later, with the same scent as I carried around, only he was still horny and kissing my neck when I tried to the dishes.

'Im not seeing anything.'

Hermoine held her hand in front of her eyes when she went to look for something she mustve left here.

'What are you looking for Hermoine?'

She looked up at her name, suprised I actually chose to use her first name.

'I left a book here.'

'You mean that one about jobs in the magical world? I left it in the livingroom after spitting it through myself, sorry.'

'I dont mind, you found it interesting I guess?'

'Yes, I think when the threat will be less, I will try to get a job at Hogwarts. Ive always wanted to teach Potions, now Snape is out of the way its easier to obtain the job. Do you think Im able to get it?'

'Well you were always very good at Potions... You could also let Dumbledore help you get a new identity, then you can start after you think your baby is old enough to be alone with the stepfather.'

She was about to leave when I put Richard in a seat and put a plate with a few sandwiches on the table. I called out to her.

'Yeah and this is the funny part, shes going to have one of the only nice stepfathers in the world.'

Hermoine smiled, waving goodbye.

-Flash Forward-

Those sweet eyes meeting mine, little fingers playing with my necklace and then you had Richards face. He was proud of me, I dont know why, I just knew he felt that emotion. Through the last five months, he was there for me, to support me whenever I needed it. Sirius liked taking care of me, because I was pregnant. Because I took a liking to him so much, I told him that he kind of could be the grandfather of my child. He became only more happy when hearing that. He just entered the room with Trisha and Blaise walking in behind him. Blaise was the new godfather, because Richard was already her stepfather. I was so happy to know that my baby had a father that would love her, that she would love him, there was no way in hating him in any way. I changed her name slightly, on Richards suggestion.

**Naomi Helena Livas**


End file.
